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Trump’s Way To Victory

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of
AP Photo/Andrew Harnik

Ignore the battlefield prep from the mainstream media – Donald Trump is the odds-on favorite for reelection against whichever weirdo, loser or mutation the Democrats finally pick as their nominee. The leaked polls purportedly showing Trump deep underwater to Floppy Joe and Bernie Stalin and that has-been furry from Texas are about as reliable as the ones the placed Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit in the White House. She’s now stumbling around the woods guzzling from a queen-sized goblet of Trader Joe’s Chardonnay while The Donald is racking up the greatest streak of conservative victories since Ronald Reagan – maybe even Cal Coolidge. 


Trust the Trump.

Trust his instincts, which are uncanny. He gets the media in a way the media cannot get itself. He knows how to use it, he knows how to exploit it, and he knows how to beat it. Ask yourself – “Who is setting the agenda?” Is it the whiny Democrats? Is Pelosi driving the discussion? Are the pinkos out in Iowa?

Nope. It’s Trump. 

We’re talking about what he wants to talk about. Even when he dropped the “Sure, I’d listen to oppo from some foreigner” bomb, it got us talking about Hillary’s dossier and Schiff’s begging for nudie pics from the hosts of Ivan n’ Vladimir’s Morning Zooski. Amid the latest gasps of “Traitor!” and fake outrage, Normal people saw that just one guy was telling us what we all know is the truth – anyone would take the dirt! 

Only Trump was honest enough to admit it.

And look what he has not done – toss the Democrats into the briar patch by getting into another war. Iran attacked those tankers and everyone rational knows it (though some have decided not to believe our hallowed intelligence agencies, which I was informed was totally treason five minutes ago, but I guess I missed the memo announcing the 180-degree change in narrative). And they also know the American people are not eager to get into another endless Middle Eastern conflict that we have zero intention of actually winning. They want a quagmire they can pin on The Donald. The Dems are rubbing their soft little hands together hoping Trump pulls the trigger and they can immediately jump up and oppose his warmongering war for oil and stuff.


Nah. Trump’s not playing that. And you can almost feel their disappointment that Trump did not walk into their ambush. 

Now, on a policy level, the Iranians deserve to be blown away and their garbage scow navy sent to the bottom of the Gulf. They are our enemies and Trump knows it. If there is fighting, it will be quick and harsh – just how we Jacksonians like it. But the Dems are not getting another perpetual war to use to drive down his popularity. Don’t look for Trump to chase his tail endlessly in some hellhole he created – he’s too busy trying to get the establishment out of the ones it created.

Trump’s path to reelection is blazingly obvious – avoid mistakes (like some new war) while focusing on the new normal of economic prosperity. Ask the Reagan Question: “Are you better off now than you were four years ago?”

 For Normals, the answer is yes, yes, yes.

Yet Trump remains the change agent in the campaign. It’s the Democrats who are the party of the status quo, the sorry state of the union pre-2016. 



Declarations of how much we Normal people suck.

That’s their platform. It’s not very appealing in places where people have jobs that involve sweating and headgear. And while the Dems may run up 60%-70% margins among baristas and public employee union parasites in the blue states, who cares? 

Electoral College, baby! 

Thank you again, Founders, for the wisdom to set up a system to keep us from being ruled by the freaks in New York City and Scat Francisco!


I wasn’t a Trump supporter until he beat my guy Cruz. He earned my support by keeping his promises and running up the score. But my assessment of his chances is objective, not subjective. The competition is going to get crushed. That’s a fact.

Take their doddering frontrunner. Floppy Sleepy Gropey Joe has proven himself good at only one thing – accumulating unflattering adjectives. He’s been in Washington, DC, for 50 years and now he’s noticed that it’s a bubbling cesspool of incompetence, arrogance and failure? And he’s the one who’s going to fix it? Gee, what’s his hurry?

If it was some soft, effete Fredocon Republican running for the honor of losing like a gentleman, you know our nominee would never be so impolite as to mention how Pete E. Neuman or Pocahantas or whoever is promising to bring back an era of misery. But Trump will. He’s no sissy like Mitt. Can you imagine if Candy Crowley had piped up at Trump? He’d have crushed her with binders full of tweets.

Trump will trumpet his successes shamelessly, which is exactly what we need. We need a promoter, a loud and proud conservative who’s not worried that the swells at the country club might find him “Oh well I never!

He’s not ashamed to win. In fact, he cannot conceive of doing anything else.

Has anyone ever said that about Jeb!?

Winning will happen because we are going to nominate a fighter, a guy who knows how to win, a guy who they said couldn’t beat Hillary.

He did.

Then they said he was going to be marched out of the White House by the Grand Wizard of the Supreme Court for treason and emoluments and stuff.


Mueller cleared him.

They keep counting him out. 

But he keeps winning.

And the smart money is on him doing it again in 2020.

Of course, if Trump loses – if they manage to cheat their way to victory – we’re that much closer to the nightmare I write about in my action-packed yet super-snarky novels about the United States’ split into red and blue countries, People's Republic, Indian Country and Wildfire. Not surprisingly, liberals and the sad Loser Boat crew from the failed Weekly Standard hailed my novels as “Appalling.” So make your vote count!

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