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Don't Fire Mueller, President Trump – Let Him Keep Making A Fool Of Himself Instead

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

My birthday is next week, and I am old enough to remember back when Robert Mueller’s Russia-Whatever investigation was about collusion. Remember collusion, that wacky concept from the heady days of early 2017, back when it was all Trump and Putin sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g? Well, we aren’t hearing much about collusion anymore. In fact, we aren’t hearing anything about collusion anymore, except from Adam Schiff whenever he gets off the phone with Tater Stelter at CNN long enough to essentially insist that the collusion is all so very, very obvious, and that evidence is just a bourgeois conceit, and also please don’t look at the scheming bureaucrats behind the curtain.

Let’s see, Mueller got Paul Manafort for stuff he did back when the idea of President Trump was still a far-out Simpson’s gag. He got General Flynn for doing what Trump fired him for. He got some nobody named George Platypus or something for lying about something that means nothing. But did he get anybody for collusion? Anybody? Did his unbiased, Trump-hating, committed Democrat minions ever even leak any evidence of it, since they’ve leaked everything else? Hey look, tumbleweeds!

This pseudo-scandal is a joke, a scam, a desperate attempt by the establishment to try to claw back the power We The People relieved them of when we dissed their dominatrix Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit. And they are showing the same level of skill, savvy, and raw competence that led us to give them their walking papers.

It’s a toss-up as to whether Mueller is too dumb or too arrogant to bother hiding his team’s indisputable conflicts of interest and manifestations of improper intent that should shock the conscience of any American with a shred of decency – a category that excludes the vast majority of the mainstream media, liberals, and the cheesy Never Trump weasels of Conservative, Inc., who yearn for a return to the days of olde when people paid attention to them and booked passage on their sad sailing adventures.

Mueller is a bad joke who doesn’t seem to be in on it. He’s bumbling forward, apparently ignorant of just how horrible it looks – how horrible it is – to have hired no one but committed Hillary donors for his team. Actually, it’s much, much worse than that – he’s actually hired lawyers who represented some of the unindicted criminals associated with the Clinton mosaic of corruption. Perhaps in the world Mueller inhabits with tools like Jim Comey, another buffoon who loves to preen in the glow of a once-spotless reputation that he chose to Schiff all over, this plays. But in the real world, in our world, it’s a sham, and not a very good one at that.

The Russiagate non-scandal scandal is just another establishment grift, and it turns out that Mueller is the mark.

So, Mr. President, please don’t fire this guy. Let him stagger on for a while longer, destroying the façade of credibility our establishment betters thought they had constructed and that forms the basis of their shabby identities. He’s got nothing, and he will always have nothing, because the idiotic salve for the suckers that was Hillary’s excuse for losing to you – THE RUSSIANS DID IT! YEAH, UH, THE RUSSIANS! – was always a fraud, a way for that drunken aspiring tyrant and her coterie of slobbering courtiers to explain away their humiliating failure to beat you.

As the noose tightens on them – a noose they tied and slipped on themselves thinking they were going to use it on that infernal interloper – the endgame becomes clearer and clearer. The endgame is their own downfall. The dike is leaking like a sieve and the media liars no longer have enough fingers to plug all of the holes. You have senior FBI leaders taking out “insurance policies” against disfavored candidates being elected by the American people in the form of politicized and partisan investigations. You have these same bureaucrats with badges conspiring with a shady leftist oppo research group to fake evidence which they would then take to FISA judges to get warrants to let the Obama crew spy on the opposition. You have a special prosecutor who is grabbing potentially attorney-client emails because niceties like attorney-client privilege don’t matter when their establishment buddies’ personal power, position, and prestige are at stake.

Their cover-up is being uncovered, slowly, surely, relentlessly, despite the best efforts of their mainstream media bodyguard of lies. And they are afraid. Their panic accounts for the recent series of ridiculous provocations designed to psyche the president into firing Mueller and shutting down this prosecutorial Donner Party. Conning The Donald into precipitous action was their only hope, a ploy designed to create a martyr out of that sad-faced shrub.

When the transition email thing broke it was Oh yeah! Oh boy! Trump’s going to totally fire Mueller now! Social media was swamped by a coordinated Twitter tsunami of liberal femboys and celebrity fatties threatening to waddle into the streets – THE STREETS! – armed with their outrage and, inexplicably, cell phone chargers, to right this impending wrong. For its part, conservative Twitter watched this festival of fussy indignation and concluded that their proposed Second Civil War would go really quick and be really amusing.

This farce is grinding to a halt, threats that Mueller may try to drag it out for another year notwithstanding. Improperly seizing the transition emails was not a flexing of Mueller’s atrophied muscles but a confession that he is spinning his wheels. The transition, you know, came after the election that was supposedly influenced by all this invisible “collusion.” But hey – perhaps someone sent an email on a .gov account saying, “Gee, remember how we worked with Vlad to get him to buy $100,000 of Facebook ads promoting the ‘Hillary wants to outlaw the flag’ story from ‘Truz Newz’ targeted at working class whites in Wisconsin and how that won the election? Good times!” Unlikely. Even Team Smartest Woman In The World Who Still Lost To Donald Trump was smart enough to use its own servers for its illegal activities.

Mueller and his Loretta Lynch mob don’t have squat. They know it. We know it. Even somewhere in the back of their minds, past the voices and the demons, the Never Trumpers know it. The Grand Marshal of the HIPAA Court is not going to arrest everyone in the White House for treason. Mueller is going to come out with a report with lots of innuendo and a few outright lies, but no yellow scalp. A year from now – three years from now, and if the wins keep coming, seven years from now – Donald Trump will still be president.

Don’t fire him, Mr. President, at least not yet. Do something even crueler. Let Mueller and his pack of Democrat clowns keep making fools of themselves.

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