Have you noticed that if you fail to do, think, and vote exactly the way that the liberals and their Fredocon minions demand, you’re a racist, sexist, homophobic, child molesting, greedy, NRA terrorist determined to murder kids? Yeah, you probably have. And you’ve probably also realized that if you do everything that the liberals and their Never Trump minions demand, you’re still a racist, sexist, homophobic, child molesting, greedy, NRA terrorist determined to murder kids.
When you understand that, you’re on your way to being conservative woke.
And when you’re conservative woke, you’re ready to deploy the most powerful non-bullet firing weapon in your liberty-loving arsenal – your devastating capability not to give a damn what the liberals and their Conservative, Inc., cruise-shilling Benedict Arnold buddies say.
When you don’t care anymore, they got nothing.
What are these whiny weasels going to do to you anyway? Not like you? Think bad things about you? Taunt you a second time?
Look. Learn. Accept the harsh truth.
They hate you.
They hate you.
They hate you.
No matter how you try to please them, regardless of whether or not you comply with their every command, that will never change.
They hate you. Govern yourself accordingly.
Don’t believe me? Then you are not yet fully conservative woke. Try spending about five minutes on social media listening to them (my Twitter timeline is great for this) and they’ll tell you themselves what they want – they want you enslaved or dead. Oh, the nice ones are willing to let you die off on your own, but there are plenty of them who want to speed up the process. Lucky for us, the flaccid collection of shiftless Millennials, fops, femboys, feminists, and groping weirdoes that makes up the left can’t tell you which end of a gun goes bang – though their ineptitude is kind of irrelevant since we Normals have all the guns anyway.
All they have are words, and they still think we’re still back in the day where some liberal accusing us of one of their thought-crimes was enough to send us scampering.
“Oh no, they called us racist! Better do what they say to prove we’re not!”
“Oh no, they called us sexist! Better do what they say to prove we’re not!”
“Oh no, they called us greedy! Better do what they say to prove we’re not!”
“Oh no, they called us … hey, wait a minute. We keep doing what they say to prove we’re not what they say we are and they just keep hating us!”
It’s all a lie, a scam calculated to play on our morality and good nature, a grift designed to keep us trying to kick the Lucy Football that is the liberal’s love.
Dude, they aren’t ever going to let you kick it, so why try? After decades of chasing after their approval, of giving a rat’s Schumer about what the New York Times and the Washington Post think, of letting these bums squat in our heads rent-free, we real conservatives got woke.
Hey, liberals. Hey, sanctimonious Never Trump dorks. Here’s our counter-offer: How about you go pound sand and we do whatever the hell we want?
This counter-offer is non-negotiable.
And they make it so very easy for us because every single thing they say about us is a damned lie.
The liberal elite and their toadies screech, “If you don’t give us a critical Senate seat while we tread water on dealing with Dem icons like Al “Get Around To Resigning Someday Wink Wink” Franken and Bob “Brotherhood of the Traveling Pervs” Menendez, you totally support pedophiles!” Except we don’t support pedophiles – when’s the last time we gave one a primetime standing O? We just don’t think shaky claims from 40 years ago that include admitted fraud being pushed by our enemies morally mandates our ritual senatorial suicide.
The liberal elite and their toadies screech, “You’re racist because you don’t want to give away American citizenship to anyone who can manage to avoid being caught wading across the Rio Grande!” Except we love immigrants who respect our laws and come here legally and want to be Americans. We just don’t want to keep paying, in money and in blood, for uninvited freeloaders who want to turn our country into the same kind of Third World dump these illegals crawled out of.
The liberal elite and their toadies screech, “Because you NRA people won’t disarm, you have the blood of children on your hands!” every time some militant atheist, BLM jerk, or angry Obama fan goes on a killing spree at a gun free zone. Except we don’t have blood on our hands. We’re the ones who carry guns to protect people, or send off family members to do so – not a lot of cops or infantrymen come out of Beverly Hills and Georgetown. We just don’t think that we are morally obligated to make it easier for criminals to murder us in order to please a bunch of snooty libs who don’t like us having a last ditch veto over their goal of Venezuelaizing America.
Wokeness to elite lies is now central to who conservatives are, and the True Conservatives™ are furious that we’ve stopped caring. They hate that the primary principle of conservatism is no longer losing like well-behaved little wusses – that was their only real talent and if we don’t intend to lose anymore, we don’t need that crew of smarmy losers anymore. The 2016 primary was a battle between the Jeb!-loving “Oh noes, we needs to get the approval of the people who hate us” clique, and the “Oh, I got your approval right here” contingent that elected Donald Trump. That whole trying to please the people who will always hate us thing? That’s not a conservative thing anymore, except for a few suck-ups like Ben Sasse and other the tiresome members of Team Sanctimony.
They fuss, “We’re better than that!” and now we just laugh.
“Yeah, I think we’ll stop trying to please you and do what’s in our interests instead. Why the sad face? You mad, bro?”
Here’s the bottom line.
And Donald J. Trump is the avatar of our not caring. Remember, he knows these elitist goofs better than we ever will, and no one has less respect for them. He was in there among them for decades as they sucked up to him and his dough. He dealt with, exploited, and now endlessly owns, the pompous, arrogant, and impotent press.
He knows exactly who these would be arbiters of morality and decency are. And The Donald is not impressed.
These are the same people who constructed, out of whole cloth, the narrative that we are somehow morally obligated to give up a red state Senate seat because Gloria Allred dragged out some sad-faced woman with a story and a yearbook. Except the yearbook was tampered with – just like the Roy Moore Truthers said. No, our glorious press didn’t uncover that lie. But then, the press didn’t want to.
What about the Washington Post and its alleged “scrupulous reporting?” Turns out it’s likely that this whole thing is a Jeb!boy hit job. No shock – the corrupt establishment has been working with the corrupt press to claw back the power we relieved them of since we rejected Felonia Milhous von Pantsuit. The Fredocons and liberal journalists want respect, but they deserve only contempt – and woke conservatives are delivering.
Say, who’s ahead on embarrassing corrections regarding the Russiafail fake scandal this week? WaPo? CNN? The Times? Because all we see are giant headlines about how this is the end for Trump, followed a few hours or days later by sheepish, page B-26 corrections and then hilarious tweets from Trump rubbing it in.
Mr. President, please never stop tweeting.
Here’s a lesson for our would-be moral instructors. See, the thing with moral authority is that you don’t get any more after you set fire to what you have. And our media/political/Hollywood elite’s moral authority is a raging inferno.
Well, now it’s time for America’s Normals to instruct you elitist jerks: We just don’t care what you say anymore.