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Attack of the Uppity Conservative Hispanics

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

There is nothing the liberal establishment hates more than members of the minority groups it considers its political chattel who step off the grounds of the progressive plantation. And right now, it is beginning a long-term de-legitimization campaign, with its media overseers fully engaged, because that Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz have dared to forget their place.


The liberal establishment is driven not just by anger. It’s driven by fear.

It’s easy to see why the media blew up the story of Marco Rubio’s radical decision to take a drink during his state of the union response – he gave a good speech, and we can’t have that. While Obama’s monologue was a nightmarish death march of progressive nonsense honed through countless focus groups to appeal to the low-info voters who make up the liberal base, Rubio’s talk was clear, concise and conservative. The media’s problem wasn’t that Rubio’s speech was bad; the problem was that it was good.

Accordingly, the media erupted in a tsunami of blatant hydrationism.

Then Ted Cruz showed up in the Senate and dared ask tough questions, like “Why is this guy qualified to be the Secretary of Defense?” and “What the hell are you thinking?” The media, suddenly guardians of Senate civility and tradition, were aghast that Cruz failed to sit silently as Anglo Senators gently stroked the nominee. When John McCain rebuked Cruz for failing to know his place, the media suddenly remembered why it used to love the grizzled maverick in the first place – because McCain lives to slam conservative Republicans.

And then Cruz dared to not care!

Oh, there was also a Hispanic Democrat senator who was under investigation by the FBI for banging underage hookers in violation of a federal sex tourism law he helped pass and for getting flown to the Dominican Republic for his festivals of pedophilia by the doctor who he helped get a half-billion dollar port security contract.


But, more importantly, Marco Rubio got thirsty.

What we are seeing is a preemptive strike by the liberal establishment’s pet media on two up-and-coming conservative superstars. It will continue. Liberals fear them because of their Latin heritage, but here’s the funny part – for conservatives, where their parents came from is just gravy.

It’s the conservatism, stupid.

Sure, Rubio is trying to make something happen with immigration. However, unlike the president and the GOP’s shamnesty crowd, he’s actually serious when he says he wants to secure the border first. What he will find is that most of the hacks nodding their heads when he talks and pretending to agree with him are not.

Watch for Rubio to pull out when he realizes that these frauds have zero intention of securing the border – he already dissed His Majesty’s leaked insta-amnesty plan. Rubio, who made immigration reform possible, will be the one to kill it, and the fact that he won’t compromise his conservative principles to make it happen will actually strengthen his conservative bonafides.

But liberals, projecting their bizarre notions upon the rest of humanity as they are wont to do, think that the Hispanic thing is whole reason Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz are so popular with right-wingers. After all, that’s how liberals judge people – identity group affiliation.

So do some Republicans – witness the post-election Hispanic panic. Of course, these political geniuses – fresh off their latest round of failure last November – are ready to go all-in on a whole new level of defeat trying to appeal to the allegedly growing category of “Hispanic” voters. Except, though, the demographic isn’t really growing because birth rates among them are in free fall, dropping to the levels of other Americans. But let’s not let facts and data interfere with talking points that make Sunday morning talk show hosts drop their 30-round mags and nod in agreement.


No, the big secret of the success of Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz is that these guys are hardcore conservatives. They walk the walk and just happen to hablar the talk.

Look at their backstories – these guys are straight from conservative central casting. They had religious, loving, traditional families that gave them great values and taught them that achievement comes from working to attain their goals, not from getting a check from Tio Sam.

They look good and, unlike certain other Republicans, they can put a sentence together and not sound like borderline morons. Conservatives can watch them ascend to the podium and not have to worry that they might wander off-topic and start offering their insights into how rape is part of the Lord’s plan.

They are popular because they are really, really smart, and they are really, really conservative. The funny thing is, being of Cuban descent; they aren’t really, really “Hispanic” in the American liberal sense. Liberals, whose connection with Hispanic America consists of lecturing their nannies about ensuring that little Bayley is raised in a gender neutral environment and doesn’t make toy guns out of his Legos, think all Hispanics are the same. These bubble dwellers might want to ask a Hispanic about that, assuming they know any who aren’t employed around their house.

The fact is that there is no such thing as a Hispanic-American. There are Americans whose families came from places where they speak Spanish or Portuguese. And there is a special name for people like that.


It’s “Americans.”

If you call my wife, who escaped from Cuba as an infant, a “Cuban-American,” she’ll cut you. She’s proud of her Cuban heritage, but with a father, brother and husband who are all U.S. Army vets – she watched me deploy for over a year when our daughter was six months old – you better not label her anything but “American.”

So, how does the GOP appeal to these voters? Well, first it forgets the nonsense we keep hearing about how Hispanics believe in “traditional values” and “family” and all the rest. Some folks lumped under the “Hispanic” heading believe in those things. Some don’t. Shockingly, to the Beltway experts on all things Latin, these people are not all the same. And their heritage is varied as well. Those hailing from Spain are different from those coming from Mexico or Argentina or Honduras – each nation has different histories, cultures, political traditions. So stop with the condescending stereotypes and start looking at these people as individuals instead of census categories.

Second, we have to be where these folks are. Who are the GOP’s go-to guests on Univision and Telemundo’s news shows to give the conservative viewpoint? You know the liberals are there. I don’t know the answer – I only watch the telenovelas and Sabado Gigante – but it better be somebody. Preferably someone who speaks Spanish, and does so coherently.


The reason the liberals should fear Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz is their conservatism, not their heritage. And if they hold their conservative course, leaders like these will drive the liberals to drink something stronger than just water.

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