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So Many Holes, So Little Mud

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

Did you plug the hole yet, Daddy?” Yes, dear daughter, I stuffed Bill Clinton in it.

While the world waits to learn whether President Obama has successfully filled British Petroleum’s hole in the Gulf of Mexico, word has come from the White House that the Joe Sestak hole of felony proportions is plugged.

The Sestak hole opened last February. Rep. Joe Sestak was running in the Pennsylvania Democratic primary opposite Sen. Arlen Specter, who was backed by the White House. Sestak appeared with Larry Kane, host of “Voice of Reason” on the Comcast network. Kane asked Sestak if he was “offered a job by someone in the White House” to “get out of this race?” According to Kane, Sestak said, “Yes.”

Sestak said it again when the mainstream media finally got around to asking him about the possibility that a trail of multiple felony violations led all the way to the White House. On May 23, Sestak told NBC's David Gregory, host of “Meet the Press”: "I was offered a job, and I answered that," Sestak said. "Anything that goes beyond that is for others to talk about."

A Fox News White House reporter asked Obama about the Sestak “job offer” at his press conference on May 27. Obama said “nothing improper” happened, and that “the White House is preparing to issue a formal explanation regarding the allegation.” He promised the response would be coming “shortly.”

In the spirit of never letting a long holiday weekend go to waste when there’s a colossal controversy to cover up, the White House issued its official “Memo” on Friday assuring America that no one in the White House is a crook. Lest you doubt it, Robert F. Bauer, the counsel-in-chief for what could be the suspect-in-chief, says no federal laws were violated.

According to Bauer, no government positions, including “Secretary of the Navy,” were “improperly offered to the Congressman to dissuade him from pursuing a Senate candidacy.” Bauer admits there was an offer, but not a paid position:

We found that, as the Congressman has publicly and accurately stated, options for Executive Branch service were raised with him. Efforts were made in June and July of 2009 to determine whether Congressman Sestak would be interested in service on a Presidential or other Senior Executive Branch Advisory Board, which would avoid a divisive Senate primary, allow him to retain his seat in the House, and provide him with an opportunity for additional service to the public in a high-level advisory capacity for which he was highly qualified. The advisory positions discussed with Congressman Sestak, while important to the work of the Administration, would have been uncompensated.

White House staff did not discuss these options with Congressman Sestak. The White House Chief of Staff enlisted the support of former President Clinton who agreed to raise with Congressman Sestak options of service on a Presidential or other Senior Executive Branch Advisory Board. Congressman Sestak declined the suggested alternatives, remaining committed to his Senate candidacy.

According to Bauer, Clinton offered Sestak “advisory positions” that were “uncompensated.”

Right on cue, Sestak issued his statement confirming the White House Statement. It wasn’t a job the White House saved or created; it was “being on a presidential board.”

There we have it: The White House Chief of Staff sent a former President of the United States to make Sestak a worthless offer he could easily refuse.

Nobody did nottin’—ba-da-bing—ba-da-bang—ba-da-boom.

All that remains is for Attorney General Eric Holder to cap the Sestak “Top Kill” by announcing that although he hasn’t read anything about it, he’s confident that there’s no basis for a criminal investigation of anyone in the White House.

Unemployed voters in Pennsylvania need to consider whether they want a senator who is a liar and covering up felonies for political gain, or who doesn’t know the difference between a paying job and an unpaid advisor.

Let’s hope BP does a better job of filling their hole.

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