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OPINION

Thomas Massie & Juan Merchan: Two Peas in a Pod

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
Thomas Massie & Juan Merchan: Two Peas in a Pod
AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite

Wow! Only four days into the new year and already two public figures have locked-down victories as 2025’s two stupidest people in American society.

First up at bat on Friday was the comical U.S. Representative Thomas Massie (R-KY) who clearly has no future with California Psychics.com (the website that boasts it turns down 98% of the psychics who apply for work because of their dubious ability to make accurate predictions.) 

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Massie—the linear equivalent of Mayberry deputy Barney Fife, who was only issued one bullet on the 1960 TV series “The Andy Griffith Show”—apparently believed he was going to derail U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson’s re-election to a second term as Speaker on the worst domino-theory since the Vietnam War. The Kentucky firebrand—quite likely the biggest blowhard in Congress since former Illinois Representative Joe Walsh—seemed to believe something like this: “If I bellow that I won’t vote for Mike Johnson even if they (?) shove bamboo splints under my fingernails, others will fall in line and join me in my personal vendetta against the Speaker.”  

Of course, this flew in the face of iron-clad support of Speaker Johnson by no less than President-elect Donald J. Trump as well as House leadership and the vast majority of Republicans who—unlike Massie—kinda thought it would be a bad idea to have no Speaker of The House elected on Friday…which would have prevented certification of Trump’s 2024 victory this Monday, January 6th.

As votes were tallied on the first ballot Friday, Johnson “lost” (per MSNBC and all legacy media) a grand total of three votes among the GOP members present, two of whom fairly quickly switched in favor of Johnson, securing his re-election.

Before the vote took place, Massie must have been watching old films of The Three Stooges, like to one where their Army sergeant asks his troops for three volunteers to take on a dangerous assignment; everyone else takes a few steps back…and Curly, Larry and Moe are left to face the music.  (I’m not comparing the brief “dissent” on Friday to the Stooges…particularly because Moe sports a snappier haircut that Thomas Massie. But there’s a lesson in there he might want to consider next time he’s challenging the leader of the Free World. )

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The circus that ringmaster Massie produced in his silly “revolt” suggests he may not be tracking with the serious national security issues facing America. On the Salem Media Group news program THIS WEEK ON THE HILL with Tony Perkins, Philip Wegmann—White House correspondent for Real Clear Politcs.com—flatly stated that this week’s terrorist attack in New Orleans is a clear warning shot for the United States. Wegmann says the 14 dead people and dozens more who were injured should create a sense of urgency on Capitol Hill that our national security agencies need new leadership.


If one compares Pete Hegseth, Tulsi Gabbard and Kash Patel to the people they have been tapped to replace, Wegmann adds, while they are atypical nominees “they are an improvement” over the status quo.

His assessment is on-target in the thankfully dwindling days of the Biden administration with it’s dopey focus on “white nationalists” rather than combatting Islamic radicalism.  I can think of 14 families in the aftermath of New Orleans who can plainly see how dangerously myopic Joe Biden, Kamala Harris and Antony Blinken have been. Perhaps Biden should have spent less time awarding medals to political hacks like Liz Cheney and more time protecting our homeland?

Which leads us to our second award winner as one of the two stupidest people of 2025:  Judge Juan Merchan.  In contravention of all logic—not to mention potentially damaging our incoming President on the world stage—Marchan announced that he will sentence President-elect Donald Trump for “convictions” in his so-called hush money trial…the result of legalistic pretzel logic created by Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg.

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Of course, no President (or even President-elect) can actually be sentenced to jail time or even home confinement or probation. Our President can and must be free to execute the awesome responsibility placed on his shoulders by the voters of the United States once he is inaugurated on January 20th. 

But for Juan Merchan, declaring that he will “impose sentence” on Donald Trump on January 10th demonstrates his utter contempt for the Presidency and how being “sentenced” ten days before Trump  is administered the oath of office will have only one possible effect: to embarrass Donald Trump and tarnish his character just as he prepares to lead America during the next four years.

Trump spokesman Steven Cheung correctly states that the President-elect “must be allowed to continue the Presidential Transition process and execute the vital duties of the Presidency, unobstructed by the remains of this or any remnants of the Witch Hunts.”

But Juan Merchan—like Thomas Massie earlier in the same day—couldn’t care less about tarnishing our national leadership. In their world, no action and no damage—however temporary—can stop them from their missions to defame and harm Donald Trump and Mike Johnson. Pathetic and sad, but I guess that’s what gets them out of bed each morning.

So even though 51 more weeks lie ahead, I’m confident that by next December 31st, Thomas Massie and Juan Merchan will easily retain their titles as the two stupidest people in America during 2025.

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Congratulations, fellas.

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