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Eric Holder Gets Furious Fast

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

You know what makes me angry? Guys who use more than three words when ordering Starbucks coffee, lizards that steal quail eggs and speed walkers. That’s what makes me mad. You know what gets Eric Holder heated? Probing questions from young reporters.

Yep, apparently young charges from conservative news sites aren’t supposed to ask Attorney General Eric Holder any itchy questions.  

Hope and change.

This past Tuesday the Daily Caller got duly damned by the big dog of the DOJ for asking him what he thinks about the 52 members of Congress, three presidential candidates and two sitting Governors calling for him to hang up his hat over the Fast & Furious fiasco.

Hope and change, plebeians.  

For the uninitiated, i.e. those who only watch Rachel Maddow’s show, Fast & Furious was the brain fart that the ATF and the DOJ hatched that purposefully put thousands of semi-automatic U.S. weapons into the hands of fully automatic murderous Mexican drug cartels. Doh. This act of wizardry by the ATF/DOJ has led to the deaths of hundreds of Mexicans and at least one U.S. Border Agent, Brian Terry.

This just in (sorta): The Obama Administration has now abruptly sealed the court docs containing the staggering details of how Mexicans murdered Brian Terry via the weapons Obama’s gents provided. But I digress …

Hope and change.  

Now, in a normal world one would expect investigations into the nuts and bolts of the nuts and dolts who spawned this egregious crap; however, in the weird world that is Obamaland, where up is down and down is up, any attempt to connect the dots and affix some blame by the not-so-free-press to BHO’s buddies is met with stern rebuke by our nation’s chief lawkeeper.  

Hope and change, monkeys. Hope and change.

Mi amigo Matthew Boyle of Daily Caller fame, his senior colleague Neil Munro and’s femme fatale Katie Pavlich have been on this scandal like stink on a monkey from day one just trying to figure out the WTFs of this foul caper in which hundreds of people have died and of which hundreds of thousands of people would like to know exactly who ordered this retarded scheme. And that, my friend, is verboten in this current misnamed Department of Justice—which is strange because BHO promised all the young ‘uns that he was going to sport the most transparent administration ever, ever, ever. Yes, mister and miss twentysomething, the admin that promised you the moon is now … mooning you.

Which leads me to my Jerry Springer summation for this week’s musings: This goes out to all the young dudes in light of Holder’s finger wag this week. Please, do not—I repeat—do not cease to pursue truth and speak truth to power. Our grand country needs good cats like you who will hold our elected officials accountable to all the laws we commoners are expected to keep. So, my heat-seeking missiles: Please stay your course. You’re greatly appreciated. Don’t let their threats grind you down.
Hope and change.

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