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OPINION
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Maybe Democrats Are In Need Of Britney’s Conservator

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Jacquelyn Martin, Pool

Remember all the news reports about Britney Spears being in a conservatorship, one where her father controlled all of her money? The “Free Britney” movement on social media went crazy for her. Then she won…and it became pretty clear that she was even crazier than everyone thought and probably would be better off if someone else were making sure didn’t set her money on fire. Crazy people are unstable and need help was the lesson. That they raise million upon millions of dollars from suckers in the public makes it abundantly clear that Democrat donors might need Britney’s dad to step up and become their conservator. 

Few organizations exemplify the instability of the Democrat donor better than the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. The DCCC is constantly sending out emails that find new and creative ways to out-stupid the previous ones. Yet, sadly, people enter their credit card numbers and give these people millions while paying 20 percent interest or more on the money. 

 So what works?

Under the subject line, “Kevin McCarthy OUSTED” and from the sender name “BIDEN ANNOUNCEMENT,” the DCCC writes, “Wow! Since our beloved President called us to action to flip the House, Democrats EVISCERATED the GOP’s lead in the polls! We’re now ONE POINT ahead in the fight for the House. Will you answer President Biden’s call before our End of Quarter Deadline to seal the fate of McCarthy and his new Majority? Rush in $3 to the DCCC to help RESTORE our Democratic House and OUST McCarthy from power!”

First off, “beloved President”? Joe Biden doesn’t even poll favorably among his family – having lost the support of the son he drove to drugs, the daughter he showered with for way too long, the grandchild he refuses to acknowledge, and the second wife he screwed around on when he tried to rape Tara Reade – so who the hell loves him? Stupid people (of which, there are many members of the Biden family too).

Secondly, what polls? There isn’t a single poll that matters now, the House isn’t up for grabs until next November. Any poll now, and I haven’t seen any poll now that shows what they’re claiming, declaring victory for Democrats in a year and a half is like declaring yourself the winner of a marathon after the first 100 yards. 

The DCCC thinks their donors are dumb enough to believe all of this…and they’re probably right.

The email continues, “If just 46,200 more grassroots Democrats step up before our End of Quarter Deadline, we’d be on track to WIN back the House and OUST McCarthy from power once and for all! This is our BEST shot in years,” they write, “we may not get another one like it.”

This is where that special kind of stupid comes into play. 

What does the number of donations have to do with anything? Absolutely nothing, obviously. But that’s not the dumbest part, not even close. 

If people give they will “be on track to WIN back the House” again. I thought the polling they were screaming about already showed they were “back on track”? In their open they did write, “Democrats EVISCERATED the GOP’s lead in the polls! We’re now ONE POINT ahead in the fight for the House.” Doesn’t that mean they’re winning? 

But even all of those inconsistencies and general stupidities are not my favorite part, it’s what comes next that makes me think these people need someone to look after their money because they’re just this side of brain damaged. 

With just a few dollars from morons, Democrats are ready to “OUST McCarthy from power once and for all! This is our BEST shot in years.”

Their “best shot in years”? Kevin McCarthy has been Speaker of the House for less than 3 months, where are the “years” coming from? 

There’s no way Democrats are dumb enough to believe Republicans have controlled the House for years, is there? They’ve barely been able to take the bandages off their “Pelosi will always be my Speaker” tramp-stamp tattoos, surely they haven’t forgotten her already. 

This is the level of stupidity we’re up against, not only in the donor base of the left, but in the people in positions of power over there. While I think they probably need a conservatorship, I fascinated by watching people function on a level that makes Britney Spears looks smart. I can’

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