I’ve seen a lot of pathetic and stupid fundraising tactics in my day, so it’s not easy to surprise me. A group called the National Democratic Training Committee has found a new way to express their unwavering belief that the donor base of the Democrat Party is made up of people dumber than an old belt.
I have been “selected” to be part of something called the “Pete Buttigieg Legacy Board.” That’s a pretty remarkable accomplishment for someone who recognizes the for Mayor of South Bend, Indiana, as the complete failure he is and has never had a kind word to say about the man, let alone given a penny to any Democrat Party cause or organization. That must mean I’m super special…or these groups are so full of yesterday’s dinner that the waste is coming out of their fingertips and through their keyboards.
The subject line reads, “Peter Paul Montgomery Buttigieg,” which just sounds like his parents were fans of horrible folk music. Considering his dad was a communist, that’s probably not that far off.
The body of the email gets even funnier. “Congratulations!” it starts, “Attention: You are only [1] of [2] Democrats selected to represent your area in our exclusive Pete Buttigieg Legacy Board.” Having never been a Democrat nor expressed anything but contempt for Pete, this came as a shock.
“Pete Buttigieg is a champion for our Democratic values,” it continues. “And as Secretary of Transportation, he’s spearheading the largest infrastructure plan in a generation!” If they were offering me a slice of that huge pile of cash Pete is distributing to left-wing interest groups and donors, I might be interested in joining their board. But this is an email trying to suck money out of me, not give me anything. That’s not how Democrats work…unless you’re one of their donors, then it’s always “game on.”
They go on with “But Republicans are trying to TANK his approval rating and are calling on him to RESIGN.” Shh, don’t tell them that I’m one of those Republicans. Pete sucks. New parents can’t find baby formula and that’s Pete’s fault. He is way over his head with no chance of getting to the surface, he’s a box-checking hire by the Biden administration.
“That’s why we’re conducting an exclusive Pete Buttigieg Legacy Board,” it continues. Because he sucks? Because people are suffering thanks to him? Nope. Because he’s gay, essentially.
“And you are the only representative from your area, so your participation is especially important to our data. Please, accept your invitation below,” they ask.
Well, I accept. I’m in, fully.
OK, I would except for one small problem: there is no such thing as the Pete Buttigieg Legacy Board. It’s a scam, like most of what the left wing does.
When you click the link to “accept your invitation” you’re taken to a series of questions that offer a choice that means literally nothing. “Do you think Pete rulez?” Nope. “Do you think Republicans suck?” I do not.
No matter what you answer you end up at the “give us money” page because that’s the only reason any of this garbage exists.
They end with some flair and a bunch of BS. “We're going to ask for $3 -- here's why: At the National Democratic Training Committee, we know that electing leaders who fight for everyday Americans can make a REAL difference in people’s lives.” You can tell the difference is, in fact, REAL because they used caps lock. “That’s why we’re launching a massive effort this year to: -- Train 30,000 Democrats to run for office -- Hold at least 365 training -- Contact every Democrat who files to run for office.
“This is a HUGE undertaking,” they say because sending out the same email dozens of times is tough, or something, “but with grassroots supporters like you, we KNOW we can pull it off.” If they were counting on my money they are screwed.
It ends, “To kickstart our efforts, we need every supporter who participated in our Infrastructure Assessment to chip in a few dollars. Will you accompany your submission with a $3 donation on our ActBlue page?”
What happened to my coveted seat on the Pete Buttigieg Legacy Board? It disappeared.
In reality, it was as genuine as Pete’s abilities to manage the country’s supply chain.
While I would have enjoyed being invited to various Georgetown cocktail parties and the annual gala that inevitably comes with being one of the few people in the world special enough to be asked to join the Pete Buttigieg Legacy Board, it’s probably a good thing it’s a scam. I’d probably get stabbed at one of those cocktail parties and I don’t really enjoy wearing a tux anyway.
Alas, my dreams of joining the liberal elite were just that, dreams. Good. I’d rather be able to sleep at night.
