Obama Has This Thing Right

Bruce Bialosky
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Posted: Oct 12, 2014 12:01 AM
Obama Has This Thing Right

I know it is hard to believe, but I think after six years that President Obama has finally nailed something. He has this thing going on in Iraq and Syria right and he is leading this country in the correct direction.

First, he is right in saying that they are not really Islamists. After all, our President obviously is very knowledgeable about the history of the Muslim religion. He probably knows more about it than any of our scholars because Obama has in depth knowledge of these matters. These people could not be acting in the name of Islam or Mohammed by being so violent and murderous. Even referring to them as ISIL or ISIS infers they are part of Islam. The only positive solution is that we all referred to them henceforth as “Those People.”

President Obama has it right – no American boots on the ground. After all we have the best Air Force in the world which should be able to bomb Those People back to the Stone Age. And wouldn’t that make everyone happy since that is where they want to be living and that is where we want them so it is a happy result for everyone involved. We just need to carpet bomb the entire area. Once the surface is indistinguishable from Mars then we can send in hundreds of drones to pick off anything that moves except for desert lizards, of course, since they are an endangered species.

This plan exceeds any that would actually send American troops into the area. We can rely on the Kurds in the North who are with us all the way. We will just tell them after they lose hundreds of foot soldiers being our ground forces that we still are thinking about whether they should have their own country. We will establish an international commission that will get to that decision right quick because these matters are always handle so well by the U.N.

And the Iraqi forces will now belly up to the bar and take on Those People. Those old days of leaving the battlefield and abandoning the expensive armaments to Those People that the U.S. provided to them are over. This was all because of Nouri al-Maliki messing things up and not listening to our President and his Secretary of State, John Kerry. Since we got rid of him everything will be peachy with the Iraqi Army, so why would anybody in their right mind think we would need American troops.

We definitely should not call this a war. That would only upset people. We can call it a hostility or a conflict or a struggle or maybe a police action. Here it is - let’s call it a movement. That will sound like we are involving a lot of people and it does not sound violent. That is it; we are making a movement against Those People.

Last, I agree that our Congress should hold a vote in favor of this movement. The Congress should stand behind our president and endorse what he is doing. I agree that we need to limit the time period though because this should not be a never ending battle for Truth, Justice and the American Way. My proposal is we limit this movement against Those People to July 17, 2015. You may be asking why that date? That is two weeks before the baseball trading deadline and Americans should not have to worry about whether we are winning the movement against Those People and if their baseball team will be buyers or sellers at the trade deadline. That is too much pressure for our citizens to have to face.

There you have it. Our president is doing this right. He will be bombing Those People into submission while he directs this movement, but no longer than July 17, 2015. You have to love this plan and you have to love our president.