Women’s March on Washington: A Feminist Goose Step Toward Irrelevancy

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Posted: Jan 26, 2017 10:22 AM
Women’s March on Washington:  A Feminist Goose Step Toward Irrelevancy

As you know, the sisterhood of the ya-ya something (and their beta male sidekicks) marched on Washington after President Trump’s fair and balanced electoral college whooping got them all triggery.

The point of their march?

“...to show our presence in numbers too great to ignore. The Women’s March on Washington will send a bold message to our new government on their first day in office, and to the world that women's rights are human rights. We stand together, recognizing that defending the most marginalized among us is defending all of us.

We support the advocacy and resistance movements that reflect our multiple and intersecting identities. We call on all defenders of human rights to join us. This march is the first step towards unifying our communities, grounded in new relationships, to create change from the grassroots level up. We will not rest until women have parity and equity at all levels of leadership in society. We work peacefully while recognizing there is no true peace without justice and equity for all.”

Shall we dissect this? 

#1- “To show our presence in numbers too great to ignore.” To show your presence? We’ve already seen it. Been there, done that. Hillary Clinton showed up big time in 2016 as your representative and America rejected her, and thus, the whole feminist cabal. Nothing to see here folks, move on. We’ve already seen your presence. Most men and women are sick of your presence. Now you’re just getting annoying.

#2- “Send a bold message to our new government on their first day in office, and to the world that women's rights are human rights.” Do you really need a march for this? How about a strongly worded letter or an email? Perhaps, a tweet? Who on earth (besides Islam and some other fringe groups) even disagrees with this? Conservatives believe women are human. Trump believes women are human, he even married one. True story. And, if by a “bold message,” you mean women knitting “pu*syhats,” then, keep it coming. You’ll keep losing, and we’ll keep making our country great.

#3- “Defending the most marginalized among us is defending all of us.” Defending all of “us?” How damned hypocritical is this? You don’t do this. Not even close. You hate, marginalize, and despise housewives, homeschoolers, conservatives, Republicans, straight white men, whiteness in general, gun owners, pro-lifers, and of course…”the patriarchy.” You’re killing future women in the womb by the millions every year. The most marginalized females of all are the ones who can’t speak up, stand up, or defend themselves and you’d rather pay to have those little women ripped apart piece by piece than defend them. So, a little “practice what you preach” would go a long way here.

#4- “Support the advocacy and resistance movements that reflect our multiple and intersecting identities.” So, you support movements like BLM, the DNC, ACLU, The Clinton Foundation, Planned Parenthood, NAMBLA, SPLC, and George Soros? These movements burned predominantly black Ferguson to the ground and fund the oppression of women all over the world. To throw your lot in with them (well, you’re made up of them) is to subscribe to fascism, hate, violence, rape, racism, sexism, pedophilia, spirit cooking (can’t forget that one) and all kinds of other indecencies. You know, everything you claim to be against?

#5- “We call on all defenders of human rights to join us.” No, thanks. We’re busy raising our families, working, making our cities better, and teaching our children about civility, decency, and respect. Maybe we’ll catch the next one?

#6- “Unifying our communities, grounded in new relationships, to create change from the grassroots level up.” You’re kidding, right? Unifying is the exact opposite of what you’re doing. Don’t you get that yet? That’s why America told Hillary to pound sand in 2016. You. Only. Create. Division. You’re not interested in real unity or tolerance because that would mean doing real work. It’s much easier to just make signs about your vaginas and march.

#7- “We will not rest until women have parity and equity at all levels of leadership in society.” Ok, then take off your stupid vagina hat, and go home and take a nappy. You already have it. Women can raise kids, make sandwiches, vote, have sex, drive, start businesses, iron shirts, be CEOs, run for president, be in the military, be Supreme Court justices...whatever. You’re fighting for nothing. So how’s that nap sound?

#8- “We work peacefully while recognizing there is no true peace without justice and equity for all.” The “peacefully” part made me do the lolz. We haven’t seen that. We’ve only see violence and destruction. And, the kinda sorta plagiarism of the Pledge of Allegiance at the end there? That really stirred my soul. 

What’s a Fembot to do? 

So, my radically racist man-hating feminists, let me mansplain something to you. Your march fell on deaf ears. Your signs with vaginas on them didn’t change the fact that President Trump is America’s new commander in chief. The world is awake. Your cause is nothing but an excuse to continue on in your fight against progress. Against change. Against making America great again.

If you want to put down the uterus sign and join us liberty-loving folks, you’re welcome to do so. We’re a tolerant, accepting, innovative, loving, smart, kind, non-city burning fun bunch who want what’s best not only for us...but for you too.

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Brian L. is a dangerously witty Western Chauvinist with a B.A. in Political Science, an M.A. in Theology, and a penchant for debunking humanity. Find him on Twitter.