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"Riffed from the Headlines" is Townhall's daily VIP feature with coverage of the deeply flawed aspects of journalism in the nation. We'll look to bring accountability to the mishaps, malaprops, misdeeds, manipulations, malpractice, and manufactured narratives in mainstream media.

04.14.22

Matching Media Memorandum – VARIOUS OUTLETS

  • The first successful business to ever own a news company, according to the news experts.

Elon Musk has decided to bypass joining the board of directors at Twitter, opting instead to go for outright ownership, placing a bid on the company shares. This has caused a hilarious torrent of reactions in the press, most of those completely unhinged and emotional in nature. 

What is most striking is the amount of outrage at the idea that a billionaire would buy his way into the media complex – as if this is a new concept in the history of news media. Some details these wizards overlook:

Blue-Anon – WASHINGTON POST

  • The worst thing for our democracy is…more freedom…?

Leave it to Max Boot to come up with not only one of the more elitist stances on the Musk purchase offer but to lodge the dumbest reason possible for opposing it.

In order for the Constitution to survive, we need to violate one of its core tenants. Oh…kay then, Max…

Gilded Reframe – FREE PRESS

  • What it looks like when you forget the name of your own company.

There are plenty of other verified Twitter celebrities bemoaning the idea of Elon Musk possibly freeing up free expression on the site intended for people to express themselves. It reaches absolutely ridiculous levels when the CEO of a site called Free Press is concerned about civil rights being threatened by people being able to exercise their right to an opinion.

Low Octane Gas Lighting – WASHINGTON POST

Monica Hesse attempts to clean up for the press regarding the fiasco that has been the media reaction to the Florida parental rights law. After months of lying about the contents of the bill, the press has not swayed public opinion, as numerous polls show more support than opposition for the law. The "grooming" backlash that arrived after all the passionate fighting to be able to teach kindergartners about sex has the press back on their heels, so Monica attempts to cast blame back on the Florida politicians.

- "Pass homophobic and transphobic bills cloaked in neutral language, then pretend liberals are crazy for calling the bills homophobic and transphobic. It's a mix of dog whistling and gaslighting. It's a gaswhistle. A noxious leak that anyone can smell, if they’re being honest."

The neutral language also prohibits heterosexual discussions, yet for some reason, it is not being described as
"Heterophobic"? Because that might also expose the lie of their narrative, of course. It is ONLY viewed as hostile to gays when heterosexual discussions of sex are also limited. That convenient interpretation is the actual bad faith argument, leading to that very strained headline. 

Reporting On The Mirror – MSNBC

  • This is why successful sports teams do not rely on one superstar.

Rachel Maddow made her triumphant return to prime time on MSNBC, and she brought back her usual strong ratings. This is actually bad news for the network because it cast in sharp contrast to the rest of the channel lineup underperforming. During her absence, no show managed to pull 1.6 million viewers. 

Maddow will soon be cutting way back on her appearances, moving to only one night per week. This casts a harsh light on the rest of the talent, which is not performing near her regular ratings, which had over two million viewers. 

Pulitzer Prize Nomination – NEW INDIAN EXPRESS

If there is any redeeming quality to the story of a quartet of hikers arrested for sexually violating a large reptile, it is that they were not described as being "Florida Men."

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