A Necessary Discussion on Parenting

Posted: Mar 18, 2014 9:30 AM
A Necessary Discussion on Parenting

The amount of influence the family life has on a child is eye-opening. Did you know that marriage reduces the probability of child poverty by 80%? Did you further know that a child coming from an “intact married home” is 44% more likely to gain a college degree, 40% less likely to have a child out of wedlock, and will earn $4,000 more per year than a child that did not come from such a home? The power of family life can, in many cases, determine the outcome of a child’s life.

One of the major factors in determining an “intact married home” is the amount of involvement parents have in their child’s life. The same holds true for single-parent households. Children that have parents heavily involved in their life are much more likely to be educationally successful, economically successful, and morally upright than children who do not.

It’s time to completely change the conversation on good parenting. Children are the product of their environment by what it does and does not provide. This new conversation has an important aspect- supportive involvement. The result from being involved help teenaged parents, single parent households and working two-parent families, avoid pitfalls their children may succumb to by having safe & support systems.

Research has shown that when parents are active in their child’s educational life, whether it’s reading to their child, holding high educational standards for their child, assisting their child withhomework, guiding their child in important decision-making processes, or meeting with their child’s teachers, their child will have higher grades and greater academic achievement compared to those who do not.

The positive impact of parental involvement should not be overlooked. Take for example the positive impact that family dinners can have on a child. Teenagers who live in a household that has regular family dinners are 11% less likely to use tobacco, 13% less likely to smoke marijuana, and 18% less likely to consume alcohol. Simply put, parental involved with children is a significant way to address barriers that arise, particularly when parent-child relationships are troubled.

Parents have a major impact in shaping who their child becomes, but they cannot do it alone. Parents, particularly parents raising a child on their own, need safe supportive systems from their local community to help rear their children. Having support from a local community can make all the difference in the world.

Examples of safe and supportive systems within local communities may include relatives, places of worship, Boy's &Girl's Club and/or activities that will have positive engagement for children.

Supportive systems can help parents manage and negotiate difficult family situations in a number of ways. First, they can work with fathers and mothers before the birth of a child to address obstacles that hinder fathers’ involvement with their children. Second, they can provide communication and negotiation skills needed to address complex family issues facilitating communication and co-operation between the parent and child. Third, they can counsel and educate parents on appropriate childhood rearing. Fourth, they can provide services on an ongoing basis, so they can effectively respond to difficult family situations as they arise, rather than simply being one-off intervention.

An old but true African proverb gives us advice: “Remember it takes a village to raise a child”. This proverbial village includes you the parent, your family, your local place of worship, and the many social institutions around you. The best thing you can do for your child is to get and stay involved in their life and surround them with those supportive systems within your local community.

I challenge parents and local communities as well, to encourage and support the families that make up the foundation of their society. What are your contributions to changing the conversation in the village?