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Tipsheet

Alvin Greene's Concession Speech

Jillian Bandes
Jillian Bandes  |  November 02, 2010 7:19 PM
Alvin Greene rejected my offer to write his concession speech. I decided to write it anyway.

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Dear America:

I will not stop house foreclosures. I will not save your house and your job. I will not actually save that crying family in the cartoon above (but you can still buy the cartoon for 5 cents on my website). That is because I have just lost my Senate race to Sen. Jim DeMint.
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Sen. Jim DeMint started the recession. He started the recession. He started the recession.

Sincerely,
Alvin Greene

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