Guy Benson

As Katie notes below, apparently the wonderful annual ritual of lining Main Street, waving mini-American flags, and cheering on veterans and patriotic floats as they pass by is a right-wing exercise.  When I first saw this story, my initial political reaction was, "Time for the EPA and/or NLRB to start regulating Fourth of July parades!"  Gabriel Malor at Ace of Spades saw my snark, and raised me a top ten list:


Top Ten Ways Democrats Can Re-"Appropriate" July Fourth

10. Include a disclaimer on celebration notices warning that displays of patriotism might endanger children's welfare.

9. Have the EPA require that celebrations use only fireworks that are environmentally friendly and greenhouse gas neutral.

8. Include a ritual apology to Great Britain after all readings of the Declaration of Independence.

7. Have the National Endowment for the Arts fund naked interpretive dance troupes at July Fourth parades. Also, drum circles.

6. Burn slave-owning Founders in effigy.


For the remainder of his list, click through.  Happy July 4th weekend, everyone!


Guy Benson

Guy Benson is Townhall.com's Senior Political Editor. Follow him on Twitter @guypbenson.

Author Photo credit: Jensen Sutta Photography