Suzanne Fields

Hillary Clinton has gone through more reincarnations than Shirley MacLaine, who insists that when she was a Moorish girl in the ninth century, she had an affair with Charlemagne. Hillary has no such exotic tales in her past -- Bubba is exotic enough -- but she has gone through a number of roles for women who no longer stay home and bake cookies.

She was not content to stay home to be a first lady, and was perceived as a "co-president" before her disastrous scheme for reforming health care put a humiliating end to that. She was elected senator from New York to enable a run for president, losing to the man in the White House now. She and Barack Obama kissed and made up, and he appointed her secretary of state, where she has done well as the president's mouthpiece overseas.

Now the inside-the-Beltway buzz, accelerating to the decibel-level of a five-alarm fire, is that Obama should dump Joe Biden and replace him with Hillary. In one scenario, Hillary and Joe merely trade places, but that would require Hillary to resign from the Cabinet, easily enough done -- but such a trade would further require a cure for Joe's foot-and-mouth disease. Not so easily done.

Joe's forcing the president's hand on same-sex marriage before he was fully evolved was followed last week by a full meltdown on the stump in Youngstown, Pa.

"They don't get us!" he screamed, before lapsing into an incoherent rant about rich Republicans. "They don't get who we are. My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be president of the United States, that I could be." Then he quickly remembered who he is. "I could be vice president!"

No mother before or since has dreamed of her boy growing up to be the vice president, and anyone who has sat through Psychology 101 would recognize someone overcompensating for the fear that he might actually be thrown under that crowded Obama bus to nowhere.

But wait. There may be presidential method in this motor-mouth madness. Joe Biden is comic relief, who has become almost lovable as a clown, providing a convenient distraction from serious problems of state. If Hillary replaces him, she becomes the inconvenient distraction, highlighting the president's weakness and insecurity, reprising Bill Clinton's boast that with Hillary on the ticket the voters would get "two for the price of one."

Suzanne Fields

Suzanne Fields is currently working on a book that will revisit John Milton's 'Paradise Lost.'

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