There’s one place where the churning job market becomes more placid: the federal government. A federal job is forever, or just about.

Since 2002, the federal government has required CEOs and CFOs to sign forms taking responsibility for the company’s financial reports. No matter how large of an empire they oversee, they could well be charged with a crime if an accountant fails to carry the two somewhere along the line.

Imagine your car is low on gas. On one side of the street is a station selling fuel for $3.85. Directly across the road is one selling for $3.35. Where are you going to buy gas?

Almost everything seems to be getting more specialized these days. Television programs were once “broadcast,” sent out over the air and intended for a vast audience.

Every religion needs a creed. A set of beliefs that its followers can adhere to. A flag they can rally around in good times and bad.

In the early 1990s, toy maker Mattel got into hot water for manufacturing a talking Barbie doll that warned children: “Math class is tough.” Yet 20 years later, if we could pull their string, most politicians would probably say just that.

In the U.S. we like to think we’re all about enabling people. We ban discrimination based on creed or color. We insist that facilities be accessible to the disabled. We brag about an America where anyone can climb the ladder of success.

Politicians and basketball coaches know that you never answer the question a reporter asks you; you answer the question you want to answer.

Forgettable leaders deserve their anonymity. True leaders, on the other hand, can stand the test of time. Consider Hillary Clinton.

It would be difficult to expand the food stamp program (officially the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP) much further.

Scenes from a crisis: “Results of today indicate immediate danger of general national bank panic,” a U.S. senator warned the president. “Government funds should not be drawn upon but should be increased.”

Government has replaced science with, well, fiction. Consider the push for renewable fuels.

Some people say they do their best thinking while in the bathroom. But The Economist recently took that notion one step further, photo shopping Rodin’s The Thinker on top of a toilet and asking, “Will we ever invent anything this useful again?”

In Washington, the best way to get good press is to announce you’re leaving. Case in point: Sen. John D. Rockefeller IV (call him Jay), D-W.Va., is stepping down when his term ends. And The Washington Post makes haste to bring him laud.

Over the years, The Simpsons have proposed many great ideas. Aqua-cars. Info-tainment. The Duff Bowl. But the TV show that was ahead of its time really jumped the gun with one particular idea.

It’s easy to pity Kremlinologists. These are people who spent years, even decades, studying the Soviet Union. Their job was to explain why that country did the things it did, even though those actions so often seemed counterproductive. Suddenly, though, the USSR dissolved and the Kremlinologists were out of work.

Calvin Coolidge once announced that “the business of America is business.” That’s not as true today, when American businesses are often portrayed as the bad guys, causing problems that require big government solutions.

Americans have been giving thanks since long before we were known as Americans. Early colonists celebrated their harvest as early as 1621, with a three-day-long festival involving both natives and newcomers. President George Washington named Nov. 26, 1789 as a day of thanksgiving devoted to: “the service of that great and glorious Being who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be.” And President Abraham Lincoln created the modern Thanksgiving Day tradition when he announced, in 1863, that the third Thursday of November would henceforth be celebrated as an official national holiday.

Hurricane Sandy was an invader, one that splashed ashore with as much destructive power as any foreign (or perhaps interstellar) invader could hope to bring to bear against our coasts. Thus, in the opinion of economist Paul Krugman, the storm should help boost the American economy.

Recent laws, including Obamacare and Dodd-Frank, are not laws in the traditional sense.