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OPINION

Big Weekend

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Assuming the weekend started last Friday, the first really big event was my receiving my Apple iPad 3G via Fed Ex on Friday afternoon.

I have been tinkering with it all weekend and, while I think it is really cool and I'm very happy I bought it, I am not exactly certain where it fits in the TSA-baffling collection of electronic gizmology I already have in my backpack.

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It will not replace my Toshiba Portégé laptop. It will not replace my Blackberry Bold. It will not replace my Kindle II.

Maybe this wasn't the smartest purchase I've ever made.

In Tennessee an enormous amount of water in the form of rain has fallen and the video of the resulting floods are Noah-esque. As of this writing five people have died as the result of flood-related mishaps.

Michelle Malkin

According to the Nashville Tennessean,

"Tennessee Department of Transportation cameras showed cars floating down Interstate 24 westbound near Bell Road in Antioch as the concrete median held floodwaters from nearby Mill Creek like a levee. Drivers and passengers jumped over the barrier and watched water turn their vehicles over and bounce them against one another."

On Saturday night the glitterati of Washington rubbed elbows with some of the shining stars of tinseltown at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. It is always amusing to listen to what happens when people who write for a living get around people who read for a living.

As an example, the Food Network's Rachael Ray was quoted in USA Today as saying:

"This is like Oscar night to me. I'm a news geek - I watch everything from Jon Stewart to CNN."

Rache? Honey? That would be like me saying I like spices ranging all the way from paprika to chili peppers.

While that was going on, someone was trying to detonate a car bomb in Times Square in Manhattan. Like the underwear bomber, the device produced smoke - enough smoke so a couple of vendors called the cops - but didn't explode.

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According to the NY Times:

"Shortly before 6:30 p.m. on Saturday, the vendors - Lance Orton and Duane Jackson, who both served during the Vietnam War and now rely on special sidewalk vending privileges for disabled veterans - told nearby officers about the Pathfinder, which had begun filling with smoke and then emitted sparks and popping sounds."

As thousands of tourists were moved away from the area, the first responders - again - walked into danger and, using the tools of their trade, got the thing disarmed and moved to an area where the forensics people could get at it.

Once again, the Secretary of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, said something which shows why she is not the Administration's liaison with Mensa.

Appearing on CNN's Sunday show, "State of the Union", she said, "We are treating it as if it could be a potential terrorist attack."

Really.

Someone parked an SUV in Times Square on a Saturday night containing, according to the NY Times:

- Three propane canisters,

- Two five-gallon cans of gasoline,

- M-80 fireworks taped around the outside of the gasoline cans, and

- Two clocks with batteries connected to the device by small wires. What does she think the people responsible will be charged with: Illegal alternate side of the street parking? Trying to ignite gasoline and propane without a permit? They may not have been very good at it, but they were trying to detonate a car bomb in a crowded square.

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I know that she meant to say it might the work of foreign terrorists, but the Obamas have to keep her off the air until she can rehearse her lines.

Maybe she should have taken some lessons from the Hollywood types the night before. Maybe she and Rachael Ray should switch jobs; everything would be wrapped up in 30 minutes.

The President went down to the Gulf on Sunday. The Obama Administration is in a projectile sweat that the response to the BP oil spill not be compared to the Bush Administration's response to Katrina.

The last bit of news in a news-heavy weekend was the announcement that Continental Airlines and United will merge. The Mullings Director of Standards & Practices asked me if the resulting airline would be United or Continental.

I said it would be called a combination of the two names: Unitedental - "We get our teeth into air travel."

Yeah, well, she thought it was funny.

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