Mike Adams
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Dianne Harrison is the new president of California State University, Northridge (CSUN). It’s a small college in the Golden State but it sure is loaded with diversity. How do I know? Because Dianne has written a letter to the entire university, telling everyone how diverse they are and, more importantly, what a great person she is because she loves diversity. In her short email of around 800 words she refers to diversity no less than 17 times (and I have highlighted them in bold letters). Because it is so dripping with Orwellian double-speak, I thought it would be fun to reproduce it here. I thought it would be even more fun to include some of my sarcastic observations between each paragraph. President Harrison’s words are in italics. Mine are in a font called Times New Heavy Sarcasm. I sincerely hope you all enjoy my diverse observations and that you all enjoy them in your own diverse ways!

In the almost six weeks since I arrived on campus I have felt warmly welcomed by staff, faculty, and students. I look forward to meeting and getting to know many more of you as we quickly approach the fall semester.

It’s good that President Harrison was greeted warmly by all the students. History has shown that when miscommunications occur between Presidents named “Harrison” and various ethnic minorities there can often be conflicts and even bloodshed. Remember Tippecanoe? Unfortunately, CSUN does not have a Native American Studies program. I am told they thought about it but they had their reservations. Fortunately, though, CSUN is planning an M.A. program in Intercultural Communications. There will be more on that later.

Since my arrival I have grown to appreciate even more the many strengths of this university I now call home. Anticipating much busier days ahead, I want to take the opportunity now during the relative quiet of the summer months to offer just a few initial thoughts and impressions, and specifically share some of my observations about the extraordinary diversity that exists on this campus.

Personally, I thought this statement was highly discriminatory. Obviously, blind people cannot see diversity and deaf people cannot hear it. Does that mean they don’t appreciate diversity? Clearly, CSUN needs to develop programs in Blind Studies and Deaf Studies. Queerer things have happened in the world of diversity.
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Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don't Understand.