Now all I need are some principled Democratic ladies and liberal media lionesses to step up to the plate with me to protest the vulgar, sexist behavior of Sen. Bob Menendez, D-N.J.
Surely, Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Cher, Sandra Fluke, Eva Longoria and I can all agree that when a powerful Washington politician abuses his power to victimize young women, we should join hands to demand justice. Right?
Surely, Barbara Walters, Diane Sawyer, Arianna Huffington, Rachel Maddow, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Lena Dunham, Tina Fey and every card-carrying member of NOW across America are outraged by this Beltway playboy's tawdry exploitation of underage prostitutes.
And surely, Hillary Clinton, Valerie Jarrett, Stephanie Cutter and Michelle Obama are all sickened by this top Democrat's profligate election-season jaunts to the Dominican Republic on a shady donor's private plane.
Oh, wait. What? You haven't heard about Menendez's war on women from the left-wing War on Women brigade? Nary a progressive peep? Well, knock me over with a Code Pink feather boa. Not sure how the story could have slipped their news-savvy feminist minds.
The divorced Menendez is in slowly bubbling hot water over a couple of trips he's taken over the years to the Caribbean for sex parties with young women, reportedly including a 16-year-old minor. The left-leaning watchdog group CREW (Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington) and the right-leaning publication The Daily Caller were the first to publicize allegations last November that Menendez solicited prostitutes with his creepy donor pal Florida eye doctor Salomon Melgen.
On Wednesday night, the FBI and the Department of Health and Human Services Office of Inspector General raided Melgen's home and hauled away more than 30 cardboard boxes. The news jogged Menendez's memory and -- mirabile dictu -- the incoming chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee suddenly remembered that he owed nearly $60,000 to Melgen as reimbursement for two private-jet flights taken three years ago.