John Ransom

For Occupy Wallstreeters, who aren’t particular about hygiene, the rain soaked streets of New York City yesterday offered a perfect opportunity to clean up their reputation.

Imagine: “Work, soap, freedom!”

It really would have thrilled the rest of us.

Indeed, not familiar with the concept of mixing soap with water, the rain seemed to dampen OWS spirits across the city, with only about 1,000 protestors showing up at various locations for the “radical” May Day event aimed at creating a general strike and shutting down the greedy, capitalist machine that helped build the most successful civilization in history.

Great idea guys.

Congratulations: You are all qualified to head up at least one region of the EPA.

The self-described “leaderless” world wide revolutionary group of Occupy Wall Street, which in an ironic –and archaic- way is a parody of Gil Scott-Heron’s work The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, is in fact being televised via streaming internet video on the website

Yes, the very same internet which has ushered in the greatest leap in communications productivity in the history of the world.

And all because those greedy, capitalist pigs on Wall Street went profiteering on the internet, which even after the dotcom bubble burst still provided a great new source of wealth and jobs and taxes and mobile apps- AND WHICH, by the by, allowed us, if I haven’t already mentioned it, TO BUILD THE GREATEST CIVILIZATION IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.

Dirty, nasty, greedy, capitalist fat cats!

Thank-you, come again.   

While the Mayans got tired and stopped adding days to the calendar, did the greedy, capitalist dogs allow a little Y2K problem from stopping them?

Heck and no.

They figured how to profit from it.

If Occupy Wall Street was in charge, increased bandwidth would mean pulling the string between two tin cans a lot tighter.      

May 1st General Strike  Shut Down the 1% and Fight Back,” says the OWS site. “No Work – No School – No Housework – No Shopping Take The Streets!

John Ransom

John Ransom is the Finance Editor for Townhall Finance, host of Ransom Notes Radio and you can catch more of the best money advice and monetary commentary by him daily 10am PT, 1pm ET at or on Comcast Cable