John Hawkins

For reasons that are hard to fathom, we've recently had conservative after conservative publicly agreeing that Barack Obama is amazingly super cool. This is bizarre because they've been convinced of this by the same old liberal hype machine at work. Remember when fashion magazines were regularly declaring that Michelle Obama, who is the worst dressed First Lady in living memory, was some kind of fashion icon? How about when Sharon Stone was telling people that Hillary Clinton was just too sexy to be President? Now the coolest man alive is supposed to be Barack Obama because he dances almost well enough to have been an extra on American Bandstand?

Really? Seriously?

Besides, since when did anyone in politics become "cool?" Maybe Obama is "cool" compared to Harry Reid or Mitch McConnell, but the effeminate guy in the White House that people compare to Urkel isn't "cool" by any normal standard of cool. There is a reason politics is called "showbiz for ugly people." If some empty suit who reads dull speeches from his teleprompter and then heads off to golf could really be "cool," Mick Jagger, Dwayne Johnson, and Tim Tebow would be politicians instead of doing what they do.

Know what cool isn't?

1) Geek biking: When you imagine a "cool" person riding a bike, what does he look like? He’s probably riding a badass motorcycle, looking vaguely threatening, like he could hop off and put a foot in your behind if he were so inclined -- kind of like this picture of Allen West. You might also imagine someone sitting on a four wheeler, powering it across a muddy stream after an off-roading session -- kind of like Sarah Palin. President Nerdly Nerdison, on the other hand, looks like such a tool on a bike that he probably needs the Secret Service to keep 6th graders from pummeling him and stealing his lunch money every time he goes out riding.

John Hawkins

John Hawkins runs Right Wing News and Linkiest. You can see more of John Hawkins on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, G+,You Tube, and at PJ Media.