Guy Benson

Barack Obama contemplates the latest offering from one of his favorite hip hop artists, Ludacris

Thank goodness I found my iPod before leaving Berlin.  I should’ve known I left it in the hotel gym, considering how much time I spent down there.  Now let’s see what all these young staffers have been buzzing about.  Don’t let me down, Luda.  You never do.

I’m back on it like I just signed my record deal

Did he sign a new deal? I hadn’t heard.  I wonder how much he’s raking in these days. He’s gotta be in the highest tax bracket, right?

Yeah the best is here, the Bentley Coupe paint is dripping wet; it got sex appeal

Remind Luda to properly inflate those tires for maximum fuel efficiency.

Never should have hated

You never should have doubted him

Note to self: look up this word, “doubt.”

With a slot in the president’s iPod Obama shattered ‘em

Just wait for the whining: But he’s not president yet!!! Boo hoo. Hahahahaha.

Said I handled his biz and I’m one of his favorite rappers

Well give Luda a special pardon if I’m ever in the slammer

That reminds me, I’ve got to call Tony Rezko back.  I thought people only get one call from prison—Man, he’s relentless.

Better yet put me in office, make me your vice president

Hmm…We did just bump Edwards off the shortlist.  Heh.

Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant

So true! Truth to power, Luda!  Oh well, let’s get Bill Burton working on a statement expressing my “outrage” that he insulted Her Highness.  This party unity façade is such a pain.

Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what?

If you said it then you meant it how you want it have a gut!

Gotta give him some props for having the, um, stones to go after Jesse.

And all you other politicians trying to hate on my man

Watch us win a majority vote in every state on my man

Rhyming ‘man’ with ‘man’? Really?  Note to self: finalize that speech on the importance of public education.

You can’t stop what’s bout to happen, we bout to make history

The first black president is destined and it’s meant to be

Come to think of if, how DOES one suggest/insist that he be added to Mt. Rushmore?

The threats ain’t fazing us, the nooses or the jokes

So get off your ass black people, it’s time to get out and vote

Guy Benson

Guy Benson is's Political Editor. Follow him on Twitter @guypbenson. He is co-authors with Mary Katharine Ham for their new book End of Discussion: How the Left's Outrage Industry Shuts Down Debate, Manipulates Voters, and Makes America Less Free (and Fun).

Author Photo credit: Jensen Sutta Photography