Emmett Tyrrell
Now it can be told. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, despite his lofty position in the United States Senate and despite being married to a very nice woman, has been having sex with a cow for at least three months, maybe more. How he met the cow I cannot say, as it would compromise extremely sensitive sources. Where he met her? Again, my lips are sealed. Nonetheless, it is time for Senator Reid to come clean about that cow. The Senate Majority Leaders said recently of Mitt Romney, the presumed Republican presidential nominee, that he "must prove that he has paid his taxes, because he hasn't." Well, Reid must prove he has not had sex with a cow. He must prove that he does not even know the cow. He must because he has, and he does.

So let the senator confess his relation with the cow on the floor of the United States Senate -- the same hallowed spot where he leveled his tax evasion charges against Romney. Or let him deny his relationship with the cow there on the Senate floor -- though he will be lying. He is not the first man to deceive the electorate from the floor of the Senate, albeit this will be the first time such a delicate topic has been raised there. Well, too bad -- he should come clean.

This election is becoming an amazing spectacle. The economy is in terrible shape. The deficits are piling up all around us as growth remains sclerotic. President Barack Obama has offered only more of the same solutions that got us into this mess, plus higher taxes for the better off. Those taxes will only hobble the economy further and keep the federal grip on a historically unparalleled 24 percent to 25 percent of the economy. Romney, who as governor of Massachusetts and CEO of the Salt Lake City Olympics has demonstrated gifts as a turnaround artist, wants to conduct a campaign on the issues. The answers from Democrats are only distractions. Now his tax returns for 10 recent years are an issue raised by a dunce. Last week, the Democratic media raised another distraction, his alleged gaffes committed on his recent trip abroad.

Emmett Tyrrell

R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr. is founder and editor in chief of The American Spectator and co-author of Madame Hillary: The Dark Road to the White House.
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