Doug Giles
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Lawyer’s for 16-year-old Ethan Couch were able to pawn off on a doe-eyed court that “affluenza” was to blame for his stealing beer at WalMart, getting wasted and then plowing his out of control Ford F-350 into a group of folks, killing four.

Affluenza? Please.

For those who’re not hip to “affluenza“, allow me to help you add another word to that ever growing list of PC terms spun by blame-shifting therapists in order to explain away criminal behavior by little Ethans who need to go to prison instead of a luxury rehab in Newport Beach:

Affluenza is a portmanteau of “affluence” and “influenza“. It’s the malady of rich kids whose parents never let them suffer the consequences of their bad behavior. In my day we called them spoiled little bastards and the way we’d help them get healed from affluenza is by beating the crap out of them at school when mommy and daddy weren’t around.

According to a defense psychologist, this is what Ethan suffers from and we should feel sorry for this brat. Yep, these wizards postulated that little Ethan was unable to link his criminal/deadly behavior with its being bad due to his parents’ teaching him that wealth buys privilege. Therefore, to impart to him this hard lesson in reality, his parents hired out an expensive law firm that successfully convinced a court that numb-nuts needed rehab versus jail. Wow. Way to go. Lesson learned.

God knows this ain’t the last specious, bullet-dodging word we’re doomed to learn to let evil people off the hook. Mark my word, some redneck is going to die trying to ride one of T.Boone Pickens’ wind turbines after getting all liquored up at Hooters. His trailer trash parents, upon learning it was one of T. Boone’s turbines, smell blood in the water and sue Pickens for not taking into account their sons Dipshitzophrenia that disallows him to time his jump on to the moving blades. That would be the swiftly rotating unsafe blades, mind you.

Hey, losers. Two can play at that game. I say our conservative reps in the House should start getting more vociferous regarding their disdain for BHO and The RINOS. They could blame their new, aggressive outspokenness on a Stercore Tauri Disorder that makes ‘em scream “BS” uncontrollably when those twins trample upon our founding docs.

Silliness aside, we have four dead individuals who lost their life because this punk didn’t have a life; and now walks away unpunished because our land defines deviancy down.

Personally, as you can imagine, I feel no sympathy for Ethan’s made up ailment. No, my empathy begins and ends with the victims and their shattered families who, not only have to live with their loved one’s loss, but they have the additional pain of watching our justice system dole out a comfy sentence to a kid who should swing.

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Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at ClashDaily.com and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter. And check out his best-seller, Raising Righteous and Rowdy Girls.