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OPINION

Knock Out Avoidance: How To Dodge Being A Victim of Violent Thugs

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Can you imagine getting a phone call that your sweet, seventy-three year old grandma was sucker punched by a roving band of teenaged thugs and she’s now in ICU with a broken jaw and a cracked noggin? You can’t? Yeah, me either. But we should start envisioning such a bizarre scenario for our sainted elders and others because “the knockout game” is all the rage for demonic hood rats lurking the streets.

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If you’re not dialed in on the sadistic phenomenon known as the “knock out game” then Google it yourself because I’m not going to provide a link to that chum-slick and give it any traffic. But I will do this for you: I will assist you and yours in avoiding being a potential victim of these vicious sub-human scoundrels. Here’s seven tips to eschew being a stat of such a heinous, violent crime.

1. Since I’m a man of prayer I advise you to pray for protection and not take safety for granted. Call me medieval. Yep, I regularly pray for my loved one’s well-being and trust our Heavenly Father to keep the a-holes a-way.

2. As much as you can, don’t put yourself in the path of a rootless posse of pain. If you have to move to a safer place, then do it.

3. Don’t walk our increasingly mean streets alone and make certain the folks you run with are street smart and will have your back. If you're elderly, I suggest you befriend the Bruce Lee in the neighborhood by making him great meals and, in exchange, have him go with you when you're on a grocery run.

4. Adopt a pit bull, feed it gun powder and call him Satan (or something to that affect); and take him with you everywhere you go.

5. I recommend studying the news clips that show these knock out clowns at work and make a mental note of the age range and the skin color of the culprits. Duh.

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6. If you’re young, you’d better get on the stick and become proficient in some form of ass-kicking. The way things are going you’re going to need to know how to throw down for the next few decades given this milieu’s entitlement mentality, our coddling culture and the egregious and growing lack of parental oversight and discipline.

7. Get a concealed carry permit, buy a gun and morph into a proficiency with said weapon that rivals Doc Holliday or Annie Oakley. If you live in some crap city or state that makes it impossible for you to carry out your God-given right of self-defense, then pick your junk up and leave that locale in the dust.

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