Doug Giles

I have to admit that when Obama “won” re-election I became more depressed than Madonna’s audience was when they were forced to watch her strip the other night. For God’s sake, Madonna, put some material on that mess, material girl. I guess she’s going to follow Cher’s path and torture us with her exhibitionism ‘til she takes the big dirt nap. Like a virgin? Yeah … right. More like a sturgeon. Hang it up, Madge … you’re scaring the children. Anyway, back to my post-election depression.

As I was saying, giddy I was not that Obama secured a second term via Fieldworks, entitlement mooks and the sponge-brained propaganda swillers of the ludicrous Left … but he did. And for that I must concede that if there is a God and this God is defined by the contents of the sacred Scripture, then this God must be really ticked off at the U.S. because He allowed, in His sovereignty, for us to be saddled with four more years of an administration that blows worse than Hurricane Sandy.

Yep, for those who take their cue from the Bible, you must have noticed that anytime God wanted to wake His wayward nation the heck up because they were belligerently ignoring His statutes, He usually appointed a crappy leader who brought their nation down to Chinatown through bad dictates.

Sure, God sometimes plagued His contumacious people with frogs or hemorrhoids or let enemy nations batter them unmercifully, but on many occasions He simply let them be governed by a daft king, some Moronosaurus Rex who ignored God’s ways and led Israel into a moral and economic ditch. That’s right. You heard me. God allowed it to happen. Not El Diablo, but God.

Personally, I don’t know why God hasn’t whooshed us completely off the map by now. I do know that if He doesn’t kick our backside for us showing Him our backside that—forgive me Lord—He owes Sodom and Gomorrah a big apology.

So, what can we do? Here are five musts that’ll get us on a decent footing with our compass pointing true north again.

1. As people of faith, we can quit sucking our thumb in the fetal position and wetting our big Christian diaper. God never promised us a rose garden—especially when our nation snubs its nose at His commands. It’s going to get rough, so I suggest putting on a cup and quit crying like a wuss.

2. Before we go on whining and moaning about the Left’s wantonness, we’d better make dang certain that our house is in order, eh Church Lady?

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.