The other night I accidentally stumbled onto the Jersey Shore “reality show.” If that mess reps “reality” for our young ‘uns then as a culture we are in really, really deep menudo.
For those of you who have been fortunate enough not to have had your senses desecrated by these senseless twentysomethings, take it from me that thou art truly blessed among men for knowing nada about these narcissists who are jacked up on silicone, steroids and hurricane-resistant hair products.
With their whacked weltanschauung, the immature idiots who comprise Jersey Shore’s cast are enough to make the most positive grandmas among us more pessimistic than Simon Cowell forced to watch Seacrest perform an interpretive dance to “Riders on the Storm” … the extended version.
The fact that America celebrates these humanoid natural disasters shows how gone we are as a nation. If Whitney is right and children are our future, and if this Jerseylicious cabal is the pace car for kiddos far and wide, then I’m officially changing my eschatology from postmillennialism to whatever Rob Zombie believes.
Reeling from what I saw on TV that night, I bowed my head and prayed a simple prayer of contrition and cleansing to Yahweh. It went something like this: “God, please forgive me. God, please make what I saw and heard from JWow and Snookie go away. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
No sooner did I utter that prayer and lift my penitent noggin than my Blackberry alerted me to a new email in my inbox. Since I’m getting old and can’t see a thing on my phone anymore, I put on my 10.5 power Walgreen specials and gave my phone a gander. Much to my delight I discovered a note alerting me to the fact that all hope for our youth is not, in fact, lost.
What was it that breathed life into my now Jersey Shore depleted soul? It was a heads-up that my friend, 23-year-old Purple Heart recipient and singer/songwriter, Josh Revak, was going to be on Huckabee this Memorial Day weekend to do what he does best—namely, unleashing his vocal chords in killer patriotic tunes about how great our God, our soldiers and our founding principles are.
Yep, Revak represents not only an audible delight compared to the nasally screech the Jersey Shore slop emit, but he also blesses the listener (at least the ones who still love this nation) with memorable music praising our troops for their sacrificial service that keeps our liberty bell ringing.
Let me formally introduce you to señor Josh from his recent press release:
Tragedy: Murdered NYPD Police Officers Taken From Wives, Child Days Before Christmas | Katie Pavlich
Louie Zamperini's Son on "Unbroken": "It’s Terrible and Beautiful at the Same Time” | Daniel Doherty