Doug Giles

What’s this? Obama now needs the Church—which he’s been regularly dissing—to come to his aid and help “prod Congress” to pass his Health Scare Deform Swill? Well, la-di-da. In the words of the angry and bad serial dater, Alanis Morissette, “Isn’t it ironic, don’t ‘cha think? A little too ironic, and yeah, I really do think.”

Barack’s call to believers this past week is the political equivalent of the phenomenon randy kiddos in our culture refer to as a “booty call.”

For those not familiar with the term “booty call,” it’s the anxious, last minute, late in the game, last ditch, frantic and insincere BS-laden personal gratification phone call made by a manipulative, narcissistic man to a gullible and needy girl who has been, heretofore, summarily blown off by said guy for other girls.

Yep, in his pursuit of “better things,” the dude, unsuccessful in his new venture, will once again return to the girl he knows is easy and still hopeful that the load of crap he’s about to spew, in his desperate call to gratify his lusts, will finally come true. Fueled on false hope and therefore open to lies, the gullible girl easily caves to the caller’s wishes—only to be left in the dust after the guy gets what he wants, leaving the booty callee feeling very used and deceived. This is exactly what Obama be doin’. True dat.

In a move that would make Saul Alinsky proud, Obama is now calling on Christians for help. As the Church Lady would say, “Well isn’t that special?” I wonder why he didn’t call me? I’m a Christian. I have a weekly column tens of thousands far and wide read. I have a radio show on the IRN/USA Radio Network. Hmmm. That’s weird. No call. Any who . . .

Let me get this straight, Mr. President, in regard to who you’re calling: Would this be the same group of Christians you’ve been ticking off for the last several months?

Are you, Barack, reaching out your hand to the religious folks you backhanded in San Francisco during the election, calling them “bitter and clingy?” Oops!

Is it the same group of Christians that took offense at you covering up Christian symbols when you spoke at Georgetown University? Forgot about that one, didn’t you? We didn’t.

Would it also be the group of Christians that didn’t dig you saying America isn’t a Christian nation while on your America Sucks European Apology Tour? I know, nobody’s perfect, eh?

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.