We’ve learned the Republican Party has been admitted to Hospital USA and is in critical condition after being slammed in the rear end by the Democrat Party in the 2012 presidential election. The diagnosis for recovery is poor. The party is on life support. It’s white voter count is dropping fast and the party appears to be unable to boost it pool of brown, black, beige and female voters to help it regain strength in future elections.
The near fatal accident was caused by Mitt Romney's epic loss of the 2012 presidential election, despite the odds in his favor of an awful economy and historically high unemployment. Romney lost the woman vote by double digits to President Obama (44%-55%) along with the black, Hispanic and youth vote. Caught up in the euphoria of winning 60% of the white vote, 78% of the evangelical vote and 52% of the male vote, Romney lost control of the Republican party on the political freeway, came to an abrupt stop, resulting in the collision with the Democrat party.
The doctor called in the Party’s guardians and explained the old drugs “weren’t working” and offered a rarely used, risky treatment to revive the Republican Party. With a grave look, the doctor suggested a transplant of new faces and voices into the soul the GOP.
Listening to the doctor’s recommendation, the white and mostly elder men gasped in disbelief. After some consternation and talk amongst themselves, the party leaders agreed to the try the treatment. They turned to the House Republicans who elected Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers (WA) as House Republican Conference Chairwoman. “Whew,” the men uttered with a heavy sigh, thinking all now would be well.
But the doctor warned, “Making McMorris part of the leadership team and the highest ranking woman among House Republicans will help the party regain consciousness but it’s only a short term fix.”
“What do you mean?” howled those in the establishment who were present, Haley Barbour, Reince Priebus, Karl Rove, Ed Gillespie, Ralph Reed, Rush Limbaugh, Gary Bauer and Mitt Romney, “You said all we needed was new blood.”
Casting a troubled look at the men, the doctor revealed that a scan of the Republican Party’s brain revealed it was suffering from a reality disorder called “voter denial” which has resulted in a serious “image problem.”