Those prestigious publishers at Simon and Schuster selected All Saints Day to unleash the book world's latest attempt at mocking Christianity. It's called "The Last Testament, by God."
The author is David Javerbaum, a top writer for 11 years for "The Daily Show" on Comedy Central, perhaps America's leading religion-hating TV network. Is it any surprise that the critics love it?
Publishers Weekly raves, "The Almighty opens up in this blithely blasphemous satire of monotheism." God, in this alleged autobiography, is "a complex, troubled Deity: vain, petulant, desperate for praise and burnt offerings, guiltily pensive in the after-wrath of unhinged smitings. Adherents of every Abrahamic faith will find plenty of hilarious, offensive manna for thought in these revelations." Kirkus Reviews bluntly adds, "Damned comical. Amen."
"Hilarious, offensive." What they mean is that it's hilarious because it's offensive.
Simon and Schuster's Executive Vice President and Publisher, Jonathan Karp announced the book by poking fun of the Jews. "We feel like we are the chosen publisher," Karp cracked to Entertainment Weekly. "A lot of writers are creative, but this writer is really creative." Karp was much more obsequious and reverent last fall in selling the last testament of Ted Kennedy, the posthumous memoir "True Compass." Perhaps it's because it's Kennedy, not just God.
Javerbaum's God is a doofus full of imperfections. In the beginning, God created the world so he could dominate someone. "In my humble opinion, thou canst hardly call thyself the LORD, if thou hast created no other beings to LORD it over," Javerbaum imagines. "I had a burning ambition to rule the world, but I knew such a world was not going to create itself; no fully formed planet was going to suddenly appear and say, `Here, LORD, take these 20 burnt offerings,' or `Here, LORD, take these 50 infidel heads,' or `Here, LORD, take these 200 years of religious warfare.'"
One of God's better qualities, apparently, is his strange loathing for the Word of God. The Bible condemns homosexuality, for example, but Javerbaum's God actually created "Adam and Steve" first. He created Adam to tend the Garden of Eden, but then when he grew lonely, "God" made for him "a hunk, unburdened by excess wisdom; ripped, and cut, and hung like unto a fig tree before the harvest; Yea, and a power bottom."
This apparently places the book in the "Humor" section.