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OPINION

Chris Coons Lied, Granny Died

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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In all of life's tribulations, there is nothing so aggravating as being condescended to by an idiot. In last week's CNN debate in the Delaware Senate race between the astonishingly well-spoken Christine O'Donnell and the unfortunate-looking Chris Coons, O'Donnell had to put up with it from Coons for 90 minutes.

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O'Donnell wiped the floor with Coons, moderators Wolf Blitzer and Nancy Karibjanian, and the idiotic University of Delaware students asking questions -- all of whom were against her.

(With the nation on the verge of another great depression -- the brunt of which, to my delight, will fall most heavily on college students -- guess what the dunderheads asked? GUESS! That's right: They asked about abortion "in the case of rape or incest," "don't ask, don't tell," doing something about "our carbon footprint," and the kook-minister who was going to burn Korans, because ISLAM IS A RELIGION OF PEACE, I TELL YOU!)

O'Donnell's responses couldn't have been better if Thomas Sowell were whispering them in her ear. But after every well-thought-out answer she gave, Coons would act as if O'Donnell were speaking in tongues and make a dismissive remark to the moderators: "If you can reconcile all those comments, you're an even more talented reporter than I think you are, Nancy."

(O'Donnell managed to simply answer the questions without wasting everyone's time with snippy asides about Coons' replies.)

Then Coons would say something incomprehensible, false or insane -- such as his conspiracy theory about the Australians uniting with the Chinese against America.

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Yes, Australia, America's most loyal ally.

After O'Donnell described the China problem with absolute precision -- the Chinese hold so much of our debt, we can't hold them accountable in their dealings with Iran or North Korea -- Coons smirkingly replied: "It's hard for me to respond effectively, Wolf, to all the different issues that my opponent has raised in previous statements, and I'll just let that stand."

Then he launched his Chinese-Australian conspiracy theory!

Coons said: "The Australian navy engaged in joint exercises with the Chinese and specifically excluded us recently. A dramatic shift in the Australian policy."

Somehow, The New York Times had missed the national security implications of Australia's engaging in naval exercises with China! Either that or Coons is Dennis Kucinich, I've-got-eight-test-tube-babies-and-I'm-broke crazy.

Weirdly, though, considering Australia is snubbing the U.S. and sidling up to China, the Australian navy also recently staged a dramatic re-enactment of Gen. Douglas MacArthur's Incheon landing during the Korean War, which saved Australian troops from annihilation.

It's strange that the Australians would honor America -- or as the North Koreans put it, try to impress "U.S. sycophants and lackeys" -- just as they're distancing themselves from us. Maybe that's why no one else in the developed world is worried about Australia's joint naval exercises with China.

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(But The Weekly World News is jumping right on it!)

In contrast to O'Donnell's manifestly true point that "China could take us over monetarily before they could militarily," Coons seemed more worried about a military invasion. He warned that "as the Chinese have become economically stronger, they are seeking to become militarily stronger."

(O'Donnell quipped: "Are you saying that China has a plot to take over America?" -- exactly what she has been falsely accused of saying.)

If you do nothing else before casting your vote, Delawareans, ask people who know something if China poses more of a military threat, or a monetary threat, to us. (Make sure they know you're talking about China the country, not singer/actress Chynna Phillips.)

What should worry Delaware voters even more than Coons' demanding a first strike against China was the elaborate lying he did -- on stage, in front of everyone -- about his family's financial interest in cap and trade.

Responding to the question about "our carbon footprint" from a student who will be living with his parents soon, O'Donnell gave a tour-de-force attack on the cap-and-trade bill, mentioning the massive electricity bills that will devastate Delaware's farmers and elderly citizens.

She concluded by asking Coons: "Speaking of cap and trade, your family business stands to financially benefit from some environmental legislation under Bush -- "

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Then she was cut off by the moderator.

Coons sneered: "A fascinating question that really makes no sense, yet, so if you'd like to -- better ask the whole question, I'd be -- what's she talking about?"

O'Donnell said sweetly, "I'd like to know if your family business stands to have a financial gain if cap and trade is passed and, if so, would you recuse yourself in the lame duck sessions from voting with Harry Reid?"

Coons again scoffed at O'Donnell: "Fascinating question. No."

Thinking he had caught O'Donnell in a gaffe, Blitzer asked for her evidence. Oops!

O'Donnell cited W.L. Gore -- the company owned by Coon's stepfather, which also provided Coons with the only for-profit job he ever held -- and said that the company makes fuel cells and other things that companies will be forced to buy under cap and trade. (Making W.L. Gore at least the second entity named "Gore" to cash in on the global warming hoax, by the way.)

Blitzer asked Coons, "Is that true?" Oops, again!

Amid a litany of irrelevancies and insults -- That's quite a stretch, Gore makes a lot of products, we also sell dental floss! -- Coons finally coughed up the truth: Yes, Gore will benefit if cap and trade becomes law.

He explained his earlier, by-now-obvious lie by saying that "it took a couple of minutes to even understand what she was talking about."

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Really? That's strange, because according to Delaware newspaper articles not seven years ago, Coons himself -- as the lawyer for Daddy's company –- deployed Gore scientists to testify before Congress in favor of environmental mandates because, as Coons said, it was good for business.

On Nov. 16, 2003, "company lawyer Christopher Coons" told Wilmington's News Journal: "This is one of those very rare moments where the legislative outcome matters to Gore."

I guess now we know why Coons kept pretending he couldn't understand the batty dame.

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