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Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Marybeth Hicks :: Townhall.com Columnist
In the Culture War, Choose More Battles
by Marybeth Hicks
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Will the Dems' health care Christmas Present to America be an improvement or detriment to our health care system?


The subject line on the email in my inbox said, “Moms group question -- song lyrics.”

The first draft of my reply read: “AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGG,” but I thought better of it. Email isn’t good for conveying deeply held emotions. (Just ask South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford).

Here was the question: Several mothers of girls ages 10 to 12 want to know if they should allow their daughters to buy instrumental versions of two currently popular – though extremely inappropriate – songs, “Poker Face” by “Lady GaGa” and “Low” by “Flo Rida featuring T Pain.”

Arguing with Idiots By Glenn Beck

I know what you’re thinking. Are those the names of singers or brands of tooth ache remedies?

“Lady Gaga” is the stage name of one Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, who, according to Wikipedia, is a Catholic school graduate and erstwhile student at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts. “Flo Rida” is a hip-hop, R & B and rap singer from Florida (get it?), known also by his given name, Tramar Dillard; while “T Pain” is actually Faheem Rasheed Najm, a hip-hop star whose moniker is a nickname for a nickname – “Tallahassee Pain,” which Wikipedia says commemorates the artist’s “hardships while living there.”

Both of the songs in question include heavy-duty sexual slang, orgy-like dance rhythms, and degrading references to sex acts and money, exchanged casually on dance floors. As you can imagine, the music videos for these songs are equally pornographic.

The moms all agree that the lyrics of the songs, which their daughters already have heard, are unacceptable, but “the girls have indicated that they like the catchy beat to the songs rather than the words.”

The parenting dilemma: Should the moms A. print out the (pornographic) lyrics of these songs and review them with the girls to persuade them that they are inappropriate; or B. allow the girls to download instrumental versions as a way to protect the girls from the racy themes contained therein, despite the fact that they already know enough of the lyrics to sing along?

How about option C: AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG. Continued...
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About The Author
Marybeth Hicks is the author of Bringing up Geeks: How to Protect Your Kid’s Childhood in a Grow-up-too-fast World (Penguin/Berkley, July 2008).

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Reply # 1
Date: Sep 24, 2009 - 5:01 PM EST
Mother of 4
I have worked with parents and children of all sorts, ages, types and descriptions for 35 years. In 90% of the cases where kids went off the rails, their parents thought they really knew them and were certain their kid would NEVER do something like "that."

My point is exactly what you said, in a way. You think you know your son because he tells you what he thinks. Lengthy experience suggests he is only telling you a part of what he thinks, the part you will approve of. There is no way of you knowing at this point.



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Reply # 2
Date: Sep 24, 2009 - 4:28 PM EST
John,
Actually, I know a great deal about what my son thinks because he tells me.

He's also quite creative (though not the least bit weaselly -- being an honest, straightforward fellow rather than a deceptive sneak), he's studying game design.

Since our brains work in a similar way, he likes to run his design ideas by me when brainstorming and is in the habit of sharing his thoughts about everything from a good venue for his first date (with a girl whose parents are equally committed to high moral standards), to the possibility of organizing a campus flash-mob club.

You see, its possible to actually raise kids who don't consider parents to be their enemies -- one of the main keys being no double standards as I said above.

Spend time with your kids, get to know their friends, set high standards, educate them about why you hold those standards, actively prepare them for their adult responsibilities, and its possible to raise good kids whom you will actively enjoy having around.
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