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Friday, June 20, 2008
Kathleen Parker :: Townhall.com Columnist
Domestic Dustups
by Kathleen Parker
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WASHINGTON -- The only thing more tedious than doing housework is reading about housework.

Yet with the gritty determination of a committed obsessive-compulsive, I plowed through an 8,000-word New York Times Magazine expose on the current state of gender equity in the American home: "When Mom and Dad Share It All."

Apparently, men and women are still not equal partners. In fact, they're so unequal that they're more or less stuck in the same trends of 90 years ago, despite our best efforts to get men to be better women and women to be better men.

Alas, still foiled.

The most recent figures from the University of Wisconsin's National Survey of Families and Households indicate that the average wife does 31 hours of housework a week compared to the average husband's 14. When wives stay home, they do 38 hours of housework a week compared to men's 12.

Child care is even more lopsided.

Apparently, these ratios hold true across most demographics, regardless of whether couples are white-collar or blue-collar, upper class or middle class.

Writer Lisa Belkin does yeoman's work in trying to pierce the mystery of why these divisions of labor haven't changed with the times. She interviewed social scientists and earnest couples who are charting new territory with graphs and lists -- enough to furnish a multitasker's most exotic dreamscape.

But little truck is given to the obvious: Men and women are hard-wired differently. Of course, that sort of statement will get you run off of college campuses these days -- ask Lawrence Summers -- but common sense and experience often explain what science cannot.

Gender theorists who insist that only socialization is to blame for the unequal divisions of labor tend to search for any explanation other than simply that men and women may have different preferences.

One whom Belkin quotes points to cultural "messages" to explain the gap. When people see a pregnant woman and her husband, for instance, "How many people have asked her if she is going to go back to work after the baby? How many have asked him?"

Ah yes, now it's perfectly clear. We're supposed to deduce from this implied gender bias that men would stay home more often with their newborns if only society got it that men have babies, too.

Except they don't. Women do. It should go without saying that a mother, having just given birth -- which is somewhat more taxing than counting contractions with a stopwatch -- might be more likely to stay home with the little critter for a few weeks, though preferably much longer. Continued...

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About The Author
Kathleen Parker is a syndicated columnist with the Washington Post Writers Group.
 
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K. Parker article: Domestic Dustups 6/20
"Housekeeping is not a male gene." What a false, artificial, presumptuous, academic silliness. Better to interview men who get satisfaction in keeping their home clean and orderly-in which they feel accomplishment, and yes, a sense of beauty. They'll find these are not effete wimps,but former Boy Scouts, summer camp counselors, worked thru college, like to prevent problems, and were required and taught by at least one parent to help clean the house and yard, do some food shopping, to share fairly and be complimented for their giving back. Kathleen, please poll men who enjoy house keeping, and skip the academics who ask the wrong questions. Thanks for your perceptive and agile mind. Lance Grolla

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Another thing that I think is contrary to reality is that women know how to cook and men don’t… and women do all of the work in the kitchen. In my personal experience in the US is that a huge number of women have zero skills in the kitchen… and sadly take pride in having no skills. I would not be surprised to see that an honest study on this topic determines men do half the cooking in the US. By the way… I have noticed similar things in other countries also.

A huge part of the gender topic and accompanying studies have become corrupted by theories and desired outcomes. Compare the claims of these studies to the reality around you and think for yourself.
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