"Has anyone noticed that it's taking the president longer to select the White House dog than to pick his Cabinet?" writes Inside the Beltway reader J. Griffin Crump of Alexandria. "Could it be because he will feel obligated to keep the dog?"

ONE WINNER

The only winner, if indeed there was one to emerge from the Republican Party's 2008 bid for the White House, appears to be "Joe the Plumber."

"That's right, 'Joe The Plumber', 'Joe The War Correspondent', 'Joe The Beltway Reporter', and now 'Joe The Author' is coming to your city for a book signing!" proclaims the publicist of a new book by Joe Wurzelbacher.

Washingtonians can get signed copies at various times and locations (suburbs included) from Feb. 25 to 28, when the campaign sensation will be in town for CPAC, the Conservative Political Action Conference. Then he's off to Ohio, Wisconsin, Indiana, Kentucky, Tennessee, Texas, Arizona and California, before coming back to Washington to be a special guest of honor at the Media Research Center's 2009 gala.

After all, as his fan Sean Hannity of Fox News says, "He is truly a great American."

SHARPTON SLEEPS

"Seats remained unfilled at the main venue even when Rev. Al Sharpton began" his speech, observes Middlebury Campus reporter Jaime Fuller, even after the college "made many preparations providing for an overflowing audience."

Indeed, the liberal arts college in Vermont fed the civil rights activist's remarks into two additional campus auditoriums, but the crowds were a no-show - perhaps in anticipation "that Sharpton's remarks would be inflammatory," the article notes.

"I will not overwhelm you because I understand you have a controversial speaker here tonight," Mr. Sharpton began. "If there are those who disagree with me, or don't like me, I would hope at the end of the night they get a good night's sleep because I assure you, I will." Continued...