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Monday, May 26, 2008
Frank Turek :: Townhall.com Columnist
Gay Marriage: Even Liberals Know It's Bad
by Frank Turek
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            Why not legalize same-sex marriage?  Who could it possibly hurt?  Children and the rest of society. That’s the conclusion of David Blankenhorn, who is anything but an anti-gay “bigot.” He is a life-long, pro-gay, liberal democrat who disagrees with the Bible’s prohibitions against homosexual behavior. Despite this, Blankenhorn makes a powerful case against Same-Sex marriage in his book, The Future of Marriage.  

            He writes, “Across history and cultures . . . marriage’s single most fundamental idea is that every child needs a mother and a father. Changing marriage to accommodate same-sex couples would nullify this principle in culture and in law.”  

            How so? 

            The law is a great teacher, and same sex marriage will teach future generations that marriage is not about children but about coupling. When marriage becomes nothing more than coupling, fewer people will get married to have children.               

            So what?

            People will still have children, of course, but many more of them out-of wedlock. That’s a disaster for everyone. Children will be hurt because illegitimate parents (there are no illegitimate children) often never form a family, and those that “shack up” break up at a rate two to three times that of married parents.  Society will be hurt because illegitimacy starts a chain of negative effects that fall like dominoes—illegitimacy leads to poverty, crime, and higher welfare costs which lead to bigger government, higher taxes, and a slower economy.  

            Are these just the hysterical cries of an alarmist?  No. We can see the connection between same-sex marriage and illegitimacy in Scandinavian countries. Norway, for example, has had de-facto same-sex marriage since the early nineties. In Nordland, the most liberal county of Norway, where they fly “gay” rainbow flags over their churches, out-of-wedlock births have soared—more than 80 percent of women giving birth for the first time, and nearly 70 percent of all children, are born out of wedlock! Across all of Norway, illegitimacy rose from 39 percent to 50 percent in the first decade of same-sex marriage. 

            Anthropologist Stanley Kurtz writes, “When we look at Nordland and Nord-Troendelag — the Vermont and Massachusetts of Norway — we are peering as far as we can into the future of marriage in a world where gay marriage is almost totally accepted. What we see is a place where marriage itself has almost totally disappeared.” He asserts that “Scandinavian gay marriage has driven home the message that marriage itself is outdated, and that virtually any family form, including out-of-wedlock parenthood, is acceptable.”

            But it’s not just Norway. Blankenhorn reports this same trend in other countries.  International surveys show that same-sex marriage and the erosion of traditional marriage tend to go together. Traditional marriage is weakest and illegitimacy strongest wherever same-sex marriage is legal.

            You might say, “Correlation doesn’t always indicate causation!”  Yes, but often it does. Is there any doubt that liberalizing marriage laws impacts society for the worse?  You need look no further than the last 40 years of no-fault divorce laws in the United States (family disintegration destroys lives and now costs tax payers $112 billion per year!).  

            No-fault divorce laws began in one state, California, and then spread to rest of the country. Those liberalized divorce laws helped change our attitudes and behaviors about the permanence of marriage.  There’s no question that liberalized marriage laws   will help change our attitudes and behaviors about the purpose of marriage. The law is a great teacher, and if same-sex marriage advocates have their way, children will be expelled from the lesson on marriage. 

            This leads Blankenhorn to assert, “One can believe in same-sex marriage. One can believe that every child deserves a mother and a father.  One cannot believe both.” 

            Blankenhorn is amazed how indifferent homosexual activists are about the negative effects of same-sex marriage on children.  Many of them, he documents, say that marriage isn’t about children. 

            Well, if marriage isn’t about children, what institution is about children?   And if we’re going to redefine marriage into mere coupling, then why should the state endorse same-sex marriage at all?

            Contrary to what homosexual activists assume, the state doesn’t endorse marriage because people have feelings for one another. The state endorses marriage primarily because of what marriage does for children and in turn society. Society gets no benefit by redefining marriage to include homosexual relationships, only harm as the connection to illegitimacy shows. But the very future of children and a civilized society depends on stable marriages between men and women. That’s why, regardless of what you think about homosexuality, the two types of relationships should never be legally equated.

            That conclusion has nothing to do with bigotry and everything to do with what’s best for children and society.  Just ask pro-gay, liberal democrat David Blankenhorn.  

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About The Author
Frank Turek is the award-winning author or coauthor of three books including Correct, Not Politically Correct: How Same-Sex Marriage Hurts Everyone and I Don't Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist. His TV show airs Mondays at 8 pm ET on DirecTV, Channel 378. To learn more visit www.CrossExamined.org.
 
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How Long Will It Be . . .
before the radical homosexual lobby brands David Blankenhorn as a "GINO" (Gay in Name Only) for not falling into lockstep with their agenda, and seeks to turn him into a "non-person" as they had done in the past, for example, with "And the Band Played On" author Randy Shilts (himself a flaming homosexual, who nonetheless admitted that the risky behaviors of the gay community helped contribute to the 1980's spread of AIDS)?

Falling off a demographic cliff
Today's push for gay marriage is the latest domino set falling by the previous one, no-fault divorce, set falling by the previous one, marriage is about love and self-fulfillment, set falling by the previous one ...

There's an excellent article at the following URL describing this progression of falling dominoes: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1976087/posts

An America that does not organize society around domestic families is an America in decline. The left wishes to hasten that decline by undermining domestic families in the culture and society while providing financing for the costs that doing so imposes on society and individuals. In other words, break up domestic families and then lock individuals into a life of dependency on the state. This program the left calls their "socialist, secularist, collectivist, tolerant, postmodern agenda". I call this program a suicide pact with the future.

Fear, ignorance & entitlement...
As a Christian, heterosexual who is newly married (7 months) & living in the Bible Belt, I am absolutely appalled by the level of fear & ignorance held by those who are against same-sex marriage. Marriage, while it can be sanctioned by the church, is a social, political & economic contract. However, Christians feel the need to "protect" everyone by making legal for only heterosexuals. I've got news for you. The only thing you're protecting is your own myopic, self-serving sense of entitlement. You cannot deny a whole group of people in this society the rights and priveledges afforded to all married couples simply b/c you don't believe in their lifestyle. If marriage were purely a religious ritual, then you might have a leg to stand on. Of course, I find it sad that the pious & enlightened "ban same-sex marriage crowd" tries to act as if they are doing a great public service & standing up for all that is American, yet they fail to realize that they are trying to use the police power of government to deny homosexuals 2 of the 3 most basic tenets of being an American...life, liberty & the pursuit of happiness. Your arguments are based on fear, ignorance & entitlement. Grow up & get a clue...you should be ashamed of yourselves. & spare me the BS about all of the "damage" that can be caused by same-sex marriages...heterosexuals have trampled the institution of marriage for YEARS.

This is not about marriage
It is just another attempt to break the spirit of gay Americans. You want to conquer us, destroy us, and rid the planet of our beings. The hate is overwhelming and we can feel it.

Before you reply, reread every Townhall article written over the last week. Hundreds of comments that have nothing to do with marriage or the debate of it...
only insults, ridicule, and contempt.

There are millions of unhappy married couples, millions of yearly divorces, and millions of people getting married for other reasons besides love and family. Unfortunately it is a part of life, BUT gays are not responsible for your failings. Stop projecting please.

Gays have acquired civil rights peacefully and compassionately throughout the years. We have not been violent, though are adversaries usually are.

In the end, gays will still be gay, we will still live, love, and endure. Our personal struggles our EXACTLY the same as yours. Regardless of what you think of us, we still love you. You are our brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, friends, and neighbors. We are not going anywhere!

We have stood the tests of time and no matter what you say, no matter what laws you pass, and no matter what power you think you have on us...we will overcome.



America in decline
Same-sex attraction is a perversion of nature,and the unfortunate people afflicted with this perversion are to are to be pitied. But their attempts to make this unnatural and immoral behavior seem normal, and to force acceptance of it on society, are little other than disgusting.

The fact that we would even consider legalizing this twisted view of marriage only shows how far America has declined.

The writers above who favor this abomination either didn't read the article or simply won't accept the facts it presents. But then, fanatics do not listen to reason.

mathew
Well said mathew,,,

Now copy and apply these same rights to pedophiles. All you need to do is change the AGE OF CONSENT. That is it. We already changed SODOMY how tough is it to now go the extra mile and do AGE OF CONSENT?

Society made up the laws on SODOMY and MARRIAGE and Judges changed both.
Society made up the laws on AGE OF CONSENT and Judges should and WILL change this as well (following gay rights protocall)

If I want to have sex with another citizen and they JUST HAPPEN to be 15 then who are YOU or society to tell me this is wrong? (this is the same crap homophobes pull)

Support ALL rights mathew,,, don't be a PEDOPHOBE, back me up.

scooter
Age of consent laws are kind of arbitrary because children become sexually and emotionally mature at very different rates.

With this in mind, I believe the average 15 year old is far to mature for you. Even they would see the holes in your argument.

Pedophilia already had a chance and failed. (though some religious groups, NAMBLA, and other predators are still fighting for it). Gay marriage is not showing the same results. There are no children involved with "consenting adults"...only couples who love, fight, separate, make up, divorce, and in special cases spend the rest of their lives together.

Not very different than what is legally allowed now..huh? No difference at all.


The real issue
When people have the freedom to choose, many choose not to have children. It’s not gay marriage or cultural norms, but choices made by individuals. How many parents in the past would have chosen not to have children had they had modern contraceptives, abortion on demand, and a level of technology that made independent living possible?

Some facts on Norway
1. Same-sex marriage is NOT legal in Norway. A government hearing will be held on the matter this summer as more than 60% of the population supports this.

2. Hetrosexual marriages have increased and hetrosexual divorces have decreased in Norway in later years - as have they in Denmark and Sweden.

So, it seems that the factual foundations of this article are wrong. Or... are they just taken out of context?

I bet you that I can find a county in anti-gay Arkansas where there has been an increase in children born out of wedlock. What would that prove?


Can't read blog
what's up ?????

sorry
It was my computer, my bad

Homosexual Marriage
David Blankenhorn has stated the clearly obvious. Same sex marriage is about "coupling." All U.S. citizens have legal recourse regarding sharing property, inheritance, medical rights, etc. One does not have to be married to insure that a designated individual can speak for us if we become incapacitated. Some of the preceding comments refer to the hate or contempt heterosexuals have against gays. I say, not so. Personally, I could care less who sleeps with whom (as long as they are consenting adults). However there are some things I hold dear and precious and one of them is the state of marriage - precisely because it has as its main purpose procreation - continuation of the species. It is built into each of us - we call it survival instinct. Unfortunately, today's culture is too focused on self indulgence - what pleasures "me" - and therin lies the decay and destruction of an organized civilization. I am not putting all the blame at the feet of the gay community - but their push to erase, eradicate, eliminate the time-honored family unit must not be allowed to succeed. Nature (I call God) made all living things male and female - fauna and flora - with occasional odd exceptions. All ancient, developed and flourishing civilizations collapsed and self-destructed when they gave in to man's basest instincts - the primal sexual drive. As Rome goes ......
Yet, I pray we awaken before it is too late.

Homosexuals
sometimes sarcastically refer to heterosexuals as "breeders." Why would they want to be treated like "breeders" when they cannot breed? Let them get on with their promiscurity, and let married people breed.

Heat no light
>Are these just the hysterical cries of an alarmist?<

An hysterical ignoramus.

Stuart

Nihilistic Destruction
Homosexuls are just a depraved side show while in the big tent heterosexuals bond, marry, create families and advance civilization. We can't allow society's freaks to take over the big tent with their depraved appetites that only satify their desires but, in effect, embody nihilism.

Homosexuals
need to get back in the closet, and show some shame.

Male coupling different from marriage
It is mere myth that most male couples are sexually faithful to one another.  David P. McWhirter, M.D. and Andrew M. Mattison, M.S.W., PhD, found that the notion of sexual fidelity is anathema to long-term male homosexual relationships.  McWhirter and Mattison are themselves homosexual and a male couple. In their book The Male Couple (Prentice-Hall) they report the results of their study of 157 male couples. They concluded that "all couples with a relationship lasting more than five years have incorporated some provision for outside sexual activity in their relationships," that "fidelity is not defined in terms of sexual behavior but rather by their emotional commitment to each other," and that "the single most important factor that keeps couples together past the ten-year mark is the lack of possessiveness they feel."

Just one!
Can any of you freaks on the far right give me just ONE specific, verifiable, quantifiable, demonstrative way in which my marriage, my children, my grandchildren are threatened if two gays or Mary Cheney and her girlfriend have a marriage license?

No, you can't.

You've lost this one, folks. Give it up and move on.

It's Norway or the highway ...
There are two major errors in this article. First, the foundational impetus behind marriage, and the primary reason for its existence for thousands of years, wasn't children, but property rights. This didn't begin to change until around the 17th century. Secondly, you don't have to look at Norway; Massachusetts is much closer. But Massachusetts doesn't fit the model that the author is looking for; it has one of the lowest divorce rates in the nation.
On an international scale, the most comprehensive study to date on the effect of same-sex marriage / partnership on heterosexual marriage and divorce rates was conducted looking at over 15 years of data from the Scandinavian countries. The study (later part of a book), by researcher Darren Spedale, found that, 15 years after Denmark had granted same-sex couples the rights of marriage, rates of heterosexual marriage in those countries had gone up, and rates of heterosexual divorce had gone down - contradicting the concept that same-sex marriage would have a negative effect on traditional marriage.

Mighty Clong ...
I suggest you can be a Christian, or you can be a practicing Homosexual, but you cannot be both. To walk around claiming to be such is deluding yourself. Churches that have degraded themselves by blathering the lie that Homosexuality is other than an abomination in the eyes of God, and a stench in His nostrils have fallen prey to the Homosexual Lie. There is no redeeming value to Homosexuality, no, none.

If you value your physical health, give up this abhorrent behavior as it will kill you. There is ample longitudinal study evidence that demonstrates an active Homosexual lifestyle and behavior will give the opportunity to live around 43 or so years on average. The incidence of STD, Colon dysfunction, and AIDS is frightening.

If you value your spiritual health, give up this abhorrent behavior as it will result in a terrible judgement when you present yourself to God. There is ample evidence in His word that you cannot practice this behavior and expect His tolerance and welcome to His home.

If you do not believe God has an abhorrence for this behavior, well, you are deluding yourself.

You've lost this one, folks. Give it up
"You've lost this one, folks. Give it up and move on."

Heh, you wish. I hope you understand that you're causing a huge groundswell of anti-homosexual sentiment.

You should have taken your civic marriages and left us breeders our marriage. Don't come crying if you start getting beaten up in bars again.

People can be pushed only so far.

Have fun

denbeau
The reason Massachusetts has one of the lowest divorce rates is that it also has one of the lowest marriage rates. You are attempting to mislead by choosing only one factoid!

I am of Norwegian parentage. My father and I visited our relatives on the Trondjeim Fjord many years ago--probably 25. I was appalled to find my father's cousins' grandchildren were all born out of wedlock, living with mother and grandparents. It's been going on for a long time.

Norway has become so secular that the moral line is fractured. If you'd care to visit a website, you would find Norwegians also visit animal bordellos in Denmark (www.aftenposten.no/english/local/article1458080.ece). How disgusting is that? Do not tell me there isn't a slippery slope leading from lack of respect for natural sexual behavior and family bonds. It is one thing to respect others as fellow humans; it is completely another thing to tolerate, and thus imply acceptance of, behaviors and lifestyles that lead to societal decay.

MightyClong writes:
"As a Christian, heterosexual who is newly married (7 months) & living in the Bible Belt, I am absolutely appalled by the level of fear & ignorance held by those who are against same-sex marriage..."
-----

"Living in the Bible Belt" and claiming to be a Christian is highly suspect, as the rest of your post is just the usual talking-point drivel of gay activists.

More likely, you are a "poser" trying to sound "tolerant".

Correlation is not Causation
The reasoning in this article is poor. Single-parents, divorce and illegitimacy may appear to be related to "poverty, crime, and higher welfare costs," but they certainly aren't the cause of these societal ills.

I know several people who were born out-of-wedlock, or whose parents divorced, and they grew up to be productive citizens who have never received a dollar from the welfare system. I also know people who grew up with both of their parents and have yet to make anything of themselves other than a burden on society.

The same poor reasoning leads people to believe that gay Americans marrying each other will cause straight Americans to forget the ideals of marriage. If gay Americans really wanted to destroy marriage, why would they be advocating so hard for the so-called right to marry? A lot of this reminds me of "conspiracy theories."