The only way the fringe “news” outlets would ever report on ACORN in an antagonistic manner would be if Sarah Palin somehow supported this creepy cabal.

Sarah, if you’re reading this column, maybe you should throw your name behind ACORN for a month or two just to get the White House/ACORN’s lap dogs to finally join with FOX and bark down the despicable ACORN clowns until they’re properly vilified, permanently defunded, and eternally ensconced in American history as nothing more than a bad, bad memory—a veritable proverb for corruption.

After lending your name, Mrs. Palin, to ACORN for say, uh, 60 days or so, you could then say you were just BSing everyone to get the tools on the left to finally do the job these limp noodles are supposed to be doing: namely getting to the bottom of ACORN’s odious, braying deception.

This past Wednesday at the National Press Club, Andrew Breitbart, Hannah Giles and James O’Keefe once again released more ACORN footage that showed Bertha and her buddies to be lying through their taxpayer-funded, coffee-stained teeth. They shot holes in Berth’s bunkum. I’m talking .50 cal BMG holes.

Did you see it on TV, people? Short answer: no. Are you surprised? That would be “h” to the “no.”

If you did read about it via los loco lefty blogs, I gar-ron-tee they uniformly responded with the predictable “kill the messenger” schlock instead of their reporters saying, “Holy crap! ACORN looks like they lied their butts off to us once again. Maybe there’s somethin’ to these videos after all. Garsh.”

Hey, media wizards, if you really give a flibbertigibbet about the facts of the ACORN controversy, howzabout demanding ACORN cease and desist the specious fear tactic lawsuit slop and just roll the tapes, huh? Let’s hear the audio, numb nuts. What are you afraid of?

If ACORN is the lily white virgin daiquiris of innocence and virtue they purport to be then they should be all giddy about green-lighting Breitbart to push the Philly play button in order to show the world what their dudes truly counseled in the city of brotherly love.

I mean . . . why not? If you guys are above suspicion and the full Philadelphia audio illuminates that “fact,” then Giles, O’Keefe and Breitbart will be shown as the assassins you declare them to be, right? Until that day when you come clean you guys look really frickin’ guilty to those of us who still have a lick of common sense and decency.

Yep, until the media demands that ACORN play the Philly tapes and ACORN capitulates, we will never hear a discouraging word from these former news agencies. As stated, the only, only way we’re going to hear about ACORN sucking like we all know they do is if Palin supports them, Wade Rathke shoots a polar bear, or Bertha Lewis runs over a manatee while partying on her beer barge down at Key Biscayne.