When people used to conjure up an example of a man frazzled to within an inch of his life, they would refer to a one-armed paperhanger. On film, we had Mickey Mouse, cast as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice in “Fantasia,” bedeviled by a battalion of marching brooms. But so far as I’m concerned, when it comes to impossible tasks, nothing quite compares to being a conservative columnist trying to keep tabs on all the dreadful mischief being perpetrated by the loonies on the Left.

We could begin with whether or not Dick Cheney actually kept Congress out of the loop when the CIA was formulating a plan to assassinate Islamic terrorists. But, as usual, the liberals have it ass-backwards. The scandal would have been if Cheney had ever uttered a single word about it to an elected official. Next to having lunch with a generous lobbyist, there’s nothing a congressman or senator enjoys more than currying favor by passing along state secrets to the New York Times, so that our own version of Pravda can splash a traitorous headline across its front page. Liberals will occasionally make a movie about the courageous Germans who attempted to assassinate Hitler, but they get their panties in a knot when our government tries to kill Islamic terrorists. Hell, they even break out in hives if the human scum locked up in Gitmo don’t get their prayer mats dry-cleaned on a regular basis.

When it comes to our national security, keeping the likes of Barbara Boxer, Barney Frank and John Kerry in the loop would be the height of insanity.

So far as I can tell, the only real difference between members of Congress and cockroaches is that one of the two species has a few more legs than the other.

Friends of mine keep trying to make me feel better by insisting that Obama’s poll numbers are falling. The trouble is that all he has to do is get a dog or nominate a female Hispanic to a job above her pay scale and the numbers start to rise. The guy is doing his best to destroy our industries with Cap and Trade; bankrupt our economy with trillion dollar stimulus bills; bring Cuban-style socialized medicine to America; turn a blind eye to nuclear-armed enemies; fund a criminal organization like ACORN with taxpayer dollars; allow the DNC to take control of the census; threaten to silence the opposition through the so-called Fairness Doctrine; and do everything but fly the hammer-and-sickle from the roof of the White House, and yet let him be photographed holding hands with Michelle and the kids, and millions of us seem ready to give him a “Well done!” and a friendly pat on the back.

Which is why I’m even more frightened of the electorate than I am of the elected. Politicians, even those as dangerously demented as Pelosi, Reid, Waxman and Obama, come and eventually go, but really dumb voters, it seems clear, are here to stay.

What Obama and his corrupt cronies are trying to do to health care should not only anger every American, it should have them reading up on guerrilla warfare. Ever since the presidential campaign, when Obama told the guy with the ailing elderly mother that instead of an operation, he should consider pain pills as the more sensible option, I knew this cold-blooded good-for-nothing was a man born, not to govern a nation, but to run a gulag. Continued...