Sen. Barack Obama's star appeal is causing physiological reactions in his supporters. Which is to say, they're fainting.

And these fainting routines are causing me physiological reactions. Which is to say, I'm throwing up.

At no less than six of Obama's recent rallies, fans have reportedly fainted. Those incidents were caught on video or audio. In each, Obama -- who never even thinks to put down the microphone or ask a campaign aide to take care of the matter -- narrates to the crowd as medical volunteers show up to minister to the stricken. In two of the videos, he picks up a bottle of water and offers it to the poor, overcome admirers.

I don't mean to suggest that all this is staged. I'm saying it straight out: It's staged. Obama is supposedly Mr. Authentic -- the man who naturally radiates charisma and magnetic charm. His pheromones are so powerful they strike unwitting audience members into a stupor. He's the Beatles. He's Elvis. More than anything, he's the new JFK, a young, vibrant leader who will lead America into a bright new future.

Riiiiight.

Obama is as fake as Pamela Anderson's assets -- the only difference between them is that Anderson's boobs have some weight. He's slicker than a Slip 'N Slide. He's more like a pedophilia-free Michael Jackson than a JFK -- he's a sort-of-black, sort-of-white guy made of plastic who lip-synchs empty lyrics to the screaming adoration of juveniles.

Obama is like JFK in one way: JFK was packaged for public consumption, and so is Obama. JFK's father, Joseph -- who doubled as JFK's campaign war chest -- used his personal connections with media members to push his son into the national spotlight as soon as John returned from World War II. John's heroic PT 109 story was printed in The New Yorker, and in 1944, it appeared in Reader's Digest. The ensuing hubbub made JFK a national figure. Life magazine featured Kennedy in 1953, March 1956 and December 1957. The December piece drooled that Kennedy "has left panting politicians and swooning women across a large spread of the U.S." Complained Sen. Hubert Humphrey, "I don't know how he does it. I get into Photoplay and he gets into Life." Continued...