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Monday, October 20, 2008
Allison Kasic :: Townhall.com Columnist
Understanding the Hookup Culture
by Allison Kasic
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Now that the school year is in full swing, many parents are probably wondering how their children are adapting to their new educational environment.  For those parents with children in college, it can often be hard to get an accurate assessment of campus life.  After all, campus life is a lot different from when they went to school, and students are so busy that calling home isn’t always their first priority.

Unfortunately, parents have reason to be concerned with the campus culture surrounding sex and relationships.  Dating is an institution of the past.  It has been replaced by a culture of hookups, or physical encounters without an expectation of a relationship.  The hookup culture dominates campus life and many students struggle to find their place in this social structure.  Fortunately for parents, a new book may help shed light on the campus social scene, and therefore provide a better understanding of the challenges that their children face at school.

In Hooking Up: Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus, sociologist Kathleen Bogle delves right to the heart of campus culture by interviewing students and telling their stories.  Unlike other recent books on the hookup culture, Bogle leaves judgment aside in favor of painting a sociological picture of the modern campus climate.  Parents are left to form their own opinions about the hookup culture, but Bogle’s book is certain to leave them with an accurate understanding of what it is like to be on campus.  In that regard, it plays a critical role in understanding the myths and realities of the hookup culture.

For starters, the hookup culture is widespread.  As Fogle points out, “Although students have many options about how they conduct themselves within the hookup culture, they cannot change the fact that hooking up is the dominant script on campus.”  In other words, all students don’t participate in the hookup culture, but it is still the primary means for initiating sexual and romantic relationships.  It is therefore worthwhile for parents to understand exactly what the hookup culture entails, so that they might help guide their children towards healthy decisions.

Parents need to understand just how dramatic a change the hookup culture represents.  The hookup culture is a complete inversion of the traditional dating script:

“College men used to ask women to go on dates with the hope that something sexual, such as necking or petting, might happen at the end of the date.  In the hooking-up era, this sexual norm is reversed.  College students, following the hookup script, become sexual first and then maybe go on a date someday.”

In terms of expectations, it is largely female students that hope a hookup might turn into a relationship.  In her study Bogle found that “female students seem considerably more interested than males that hooking up would lead to a relationship or at least something more than a one-time encounter.”  But since the most likely outcome of any particular hookup encounter is “nothing,” described by Bogle to mean “not hearing from the person again unless you coincidentally see him or her at another social event and decide to hook up again,” many young women are left disappointed and confused.  Almost 50 percent of college students who engaged in sexual intercourse during a hookup said they never saw the person again.

Parents should also know that: Continued...

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About The Author
Allison Kasic is the director of R. Gaull Silberman Center for Collegiate Studies at the Independent Women's Forum.
 
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For MotherOf4, Joycey
How about if each of the couple asks the head-pastor of their church-organisation (note: I'm assuming they both are affiliated with the same one, though not necessarily the same local church) do the searching, then wait on God to see which prospect God wills for them?

BTW, this is the exact way that I got married, so you can see my obvious bias.

;)

Mother of 4 and Courtship Culture #1.5
[This got lost as my post was too long]

In the Western frontier, when a young woman reached the age of courtship, and her parents approved, the family would paint the front gate a different color (I forget what color). This let the social world know that courtship would be welcome and not offensive (she was not already spoken for nor too young by family's standards). This did not involve any heavy-handed interference by the parents, but helped and encouraged young people to find each other. The parents did not tell anyone WHO to marry, but made it a little easier to get things started.

The debutante was also similar. A young woman's "coming out" part (debut) was intended to introduce her to the social world. At that time, this would be aimed at marriage. A man would not call on a young woman until her parents approved by introducing her to society as a debutante (debut).

While we can't literally do that in most of society, imagine if parents, churches, and society as a whole could think up something similar to actually facilitate love and romance leading to marriage?
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