Rubio Offers Pelosi Ice Cream in Exchange for Small Business Funding

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Posted: Apr 17, 2020 5:10 PM
Rubio Offers Pelosi Ice Cream in Exchange for Small Business Funding

Source: AP Photo/Andrew Harnik, Poo

Millions of Americans losing their jobs wasn't enough to persuade House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) to increase funding for the SBA's Paycheck Protection Program (PPP), so Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) is hoping ice cream will do the trick. 

The speaker, whose job was unaffected by the coronavirus, appeared virtually on a late-night television show to flaunt her mansion and personal stockpile of gourmet ice cream. "I like it better than anything else," the speaker mused, in the middle of a viral outbreak that has killed tens of thousands of Americans and left millions unemployed. 

The PPP was part of the CARES Act, the relief bill passed after the government shut down businesses they deemed nonessential. Small businesses, which employ a majority of the workforce, were depending upon the PPP for funding to retain workers and keep their businesses afloat as the government experiments with closing down parts of the economy and requiring Americans to stay home. Every day the PPP goes without funding, small businesses lay off workers and close up shop for good. 

Knowing the speaker is spending her days eating ice cream in the comfort of her mansion, Sen. Marco Rubio offered up his own personal cache of ice cream -- albeit, far smaller than Pelosi's -- if the speaker moves immediately to refund the PPP. 

Rubio's offer won't work. The Florida senator has only one bag of M&M Ice Cream and it looks freezer burned. Pelosi's gourmet ice cream, on the other hand, is reportedly $13 a pint and kept in one of Pelosi's two industrial-sized refrigerators that cost $24,000 a pop. Thank you, taxpayers. 

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Pelosi should refund the PPP immediately and strongly consider eating less ice cream. One day, her teeth could fall out. 

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