The FDA Goes All “Pelosi” on E-Cigarettes

Posted: May 29, 2014 12:01 AM
The FDA Goes All “Pelosi” on E-Cigarettes

God bless the Federal Government… What would we do without their warning labels, consumer restrictions, and retail regulations? Now the FDA has decided that e-cigarettes (ya know, those healthier alternatives to cancerous cigarette smoking) should be regulated the same way as tobacco. They’ve even adopted the “Pelosi” style of governance: We should regulate it before we study it.

Apparently, the FDA has no real clue about what – if any – health effects nicotine-water-vapor has on someone’s lungs… Which, according to the government, is why we need to start regulating the heck out of the industry. After all, why should companies exist when the Feds are there to keep economic growth at a sub-par level?

According to CNBC, the FDA wants to begin regulating e-cigarettes the same way traditional ‘coffin nails’ are regulated, because… Well… They can. Through a non-democratic process, the Fundamentally Dictatorial Administration (better known as the Food and Drug Administration) has decided that they are entitled to regulate e-cigs the same way as ‘cancer sticks’ because “they don’t yet” have any idea that said alternatives to Luckies, Camels, and Marlboros are bad for you.

Regulate it… Then investigate it.

NPR has even accused the e-cig industry of targeting children through their grape, cherry and candy flavored “vapors”… Which has added to the FDA’s argument for increased regulation of a booming industry. (So far, no one has accused the marijuana industry of targeting children through their edible brownies and rice-crispy treats. Although I have accused them of trying to win over Chris Christie.)

Of course, the FDA’s obsession with a relatively harmless alternative to sucking down a Lucky Strike seems mildly hypocritical. I mean, heck, this comes at the same time that the Department of Justice has decided to ignore current Federal laws regarding Colorado’s decision to allow marijuana vending machines. And while drug users are being considered for clemency by Team Obama, manufacturers of cigarette alternatives are about to be hit with a crippling regulatory burden. (Seriously: Do we just hate free markets? Or has Obama worked out some secret deal with RJ Reynolds to keep e-cigarettes scarce that we don’t know about?)

Following the anti-cigarette lead of Nanny Bloomberg, the FDA has decided that they should start snuffing out effective smoking cessation devices, such as e-cigs, because they are kinda reminiscent of the real thing. I only ask, because I don’t remember this kind of outrage when nicotine patches were introduced as alternatives to brand-name ‘suicide installment plans’.

And so… It doesn’t really matter what “facts” our illustrious FDA discovers. They have already decided that they need to start regulating nicotine laced water vapor… Because that is obviously the problem with America: We don’t have enough warning labels.

Warning: This article may induce a sense of cynicism. Reading, and sharing, of this article may result in the loss of liberal friends, an increase disdain for government intervention, and a progressively sarcastic sense of humor.