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De Pasquale's Dozen with Red Eye's Bill Schulz

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of

I’m a huge fan of Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld. I’ve already interviewed Gutfeld and Andy Levy. Unfortunately, Pinch, Greg’s mom, and the guy who says “Lightening Round” weren’t available, so I give you the show’s “repulsive sidekick” Bill Schulz!

Given that 95 percent of the personal information given about Schulz on the show is a running gag, it’s hard to know what’s true. I asked frequent Red Eye guest Ann Coulter what she knew about Schulz. She said I should ask him about his 7th great grandfather, William Dawes, who rode with Paul Revere during his famous ride announcing the arrival of the British. Coulter writes about Dawes in her book, Demonic, “As the Redcoats surrounded Revere, Dawes escaped, pretending to be one of the Regulars in pursuit of a fleeing rebel – ‘Halloo, my boys I’ve got two of ‘em!’ He got away but his horse soon threw him and his journey was over.”

Schulz responded, “He pretended to be a drunk to escape the Redcoats. The blonde says otherwise!”

Schulz was previously a freelance writer and senior editor for Stuff magazine. While Schulz is known as a liberal, Red Eye regular Rep. Thaddeus McCotter told me has a different theory. He said, “Bill Schulz is a true fiscal conservative: how else to explain his frugally residing in a cardboard box in a 6th Avenue alley?”

Each week the De Pasquale's Dozen asks political figures and free market-minded writers and entertainers to take a break from politics and talk about their pop culture obsessions.

1. If there were a television channel that only showed one movie over and over, what movie should it be?

Hotel For Dogs, Hotel For Dogs, Hotel For Dogs. Also? Hotel For Dogs. The word “seminal” and the phrase “tour de force” are both overused. But in this case they apply tenfold.

2. What’s one of your favorite movie quotes?

“I’m Batman.” It actually raises more questions than it answers.

3. In A Clockwork Orange, Malcolm McDowell is strapped in with his eyes propped open and forced to watch images until he was "cured." If you could give President Obama, Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Leader Harry Reid the "Clockwork Orange treatment," what movie would you make them watch?

What part of Hotel For Dogs are you not getting? I honestly feel like I’m talking to a wall right now. Wait…maybe I am. Where did you go???

4. What pop culture souvenir do you own that people would be surprised to learn that you cherish?

Oh, there you are! This one’s easy: a sexy, silver lock of John Gibson’s perfect hair. Don’t know if that qualifies as “pop culture”. But our adventures have always involved a lot of “culture”, and our relationship certainly has a lot of “pop” to it.

5. What's your current “guilty pleasure” non-news television show?

“Real Dogs, Real Hotels: The True Stories Behind The Groundbreaking Film”. It’s on Bravo, and it constantly challenges my ideas of what “dogs” and “hotels” are.

6. Which movie, television or rock star would cause you to lose your ability to speak if you ever met?

Movie: Any of the dogs in HFD. Television: Ernie. Actually…maybe, Bert. Rock Star: Celine Dion. DUH!

7. What was the first rock concert you ever attended and where did you sit and who went with you?

Crosby, Stills & Nash at Ravinia in Highland Park…I think. Maybe Clapton at Rosemont Horizon. We start drinking at an early age in the Midwest so, truth be told, all of my grade school/high school concerts were very black-outy. It’s called wasting money on a ticket, America. Look into it.

8. Tell me about a public or private moment when you thought to yourself, "This is what Elvis felt like every day.”

Every time I’m sitting on the toilet while eating a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich.

9. What advice do you remember your mother or father giving you? Did you take it?

“Don’t eat the worm.” And, yes, mom. I refuse to do it to this day. GOD. She’s such a pest!

10. What’s the coolest thing you’ve been able to do because of your role in the media?

First pitch for the White Sox for Red-Eye and Maxim, cage diving with Great White Sharks for Stuff magazine, and finding the long ago gift of a churchwarden pipe, from my dearly departed Godfather, on the walls of Keens’ Steakhouse for the New York Times. Thanks for the gig, Pinch!

11. Many have said that Washington D.C. is like Hollywood for ugly people. How do you think DC is like Hollywood? How is it different?

Both cities are lousy with actors. And most of them aren’t very good actors, at that.

12. Which is more difficult: Being a conservative in the entertainment industry or being a liberal at Fox News?

Neither is all that hard, I think. Unless you like to complain. And in that case…do you have an hour? Seriously. We could do dinner or something. Don’t even need to talk about work. Do you like Italian?

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