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OPINION
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The Left Has Me Scratching My Head

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AP Photo/Ted S. Warren, File

I'm really confused about the bill recently voted on in the state of Florida restricting instruction and discussion of sexual orientation and gender identity for pre-K through third grade. 

I mean, the facts of the bill aren't confusing at all. It's the obscene reaction to the bill that has me scratching my head.

For instance... the name of the bill seems to be confusing. It's called the Parental Rights in Education Act. But all across the media, it's described as the "Don't Say Gay" bill. 

The media calls it this because gay and trans activists called it that. Their Democrat pawns who hold seats in elected offices picked up on it and called it the "Don't Say Gay" bill, and, of course, the media immediately picked up the talking point and called it that as well. 

The only problem is the bill says nothing about "don't say gay." In fact, those words never show up in any form in the bill. The so-called "Don't Say Gay" bill doesn't actually say "don't say gay." 

So, naturally, it's become gospel truth (sorry for invoking the word of God in this context) that the law is called "Don't Say Gay." 

I'm also confused about critics of the bill who maintain that it will prohibit the discussion of gay or trans people and relationships in the pre-K through the third-grade classroom.

This confuses me because, for the life of me, I have absolutely no idea why this notion is in any way controversial. At all! 

I'm told that this is outrageous because a first-grade lesbian teacher should not be inhibited from discussing her marital (or non-marital) relationship with her wife or lover.

Really? I believe she should be inhibited from doing just that.

But wait... Let me shock the world by telling you that a first-grade heterosexual teacher should be inhibited from discussing her marital (or non-marital) relationship with her husband or boyfriend. 

In other words: Our second graders don't need to hear about your love life!

There is currently an 80% literacy rate for adults in the state of Florida. This is the third poorest literacy rate in the nation. Considering most Americans learn to read between the ages of three and eight, the exact ages impacted by this law governing sexual orientation and gender identity discussions in the classroom, perhaps the teachers in the Sunshine State should have higher priorities right now than making sure Johnny hears all about last night's "Netflix and Chill" session between Mr. Jones and his "friend" Gary. 

I've done an informal poll of over 20 Gen-Xers in my universe. Somehow, all of us made it through the educational system of the late 70s and the glorious 80s without ever knowing anything about our elementary school teachers' spouses. 

I'll be honest, if I had any inkling of whether and with whom Mrs. Sheldon got lucky with last night, I doubt I would have learned to not end a sentence with a dangling participle. In fact, the idea of anything dangling, let alone a participle, in this bizarre elementary school sexual climate is not something I or any other seven-year-old should have to contemplate.

Why is this hard?

There are a lot of issues facing this country right now...

There is a hot war in Eastern Europe just a stone's throw away from where the last two World Wars and the Cold War began. 

We have record-high inflation.

We have horrendous gas prices with no clear and comprehensive energy policy other than "but an electric car and harness the wind."

And that's just in the last four weeks...

As we struggle with the harsh realities of these catastrophic issues, please remember and never forget that it was Democrats who responded to this clear and logical bill that would merely affirm that parents should have a say in these sensitive issues discussed with their very young children by skipping through the halls of the state house in Tallahassee singing and chanting "Gay! Gay! Gay!" to the tune of "Smoke On The Water."

God helps us all. 

November can't come soon enough.

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