The Trump 2.0 Administration has provided patriotic Americans with many delights, but there are few more delightful than going to bed and waking up to find communist dictator Nicolás Maduro had been plucked out of his bed by killmaxxing American Army guys; it’s kind of like when we woke up and realized that the Iranian mullahs and their nuke program were as neutered as a Bulwark staffer. You’ve got to hand it to Donald Trump. This is a guy who doesn’t play footsie with happy talk illusions about universal brotherhood, hugging, and the idea that people who hate you are just friends you haven’t yet sufficiently groveled to. When you’re his enemy, he plays to win. He doesn’t drag it out endlessly, not quite losing until, finally, he does, and our people must flee the country while locals drop off the last C-17 out. When Donald Trump and his supporters talk about hating forever wars, you need to understand that the part of “forever wars” they hate is the “forever” part. They like kicking foreigner tail. They just don’t want to lose, and they don’t want to take forever doing it.
This was a glorious American victory over a communist dictator, so it naturally elicited the usual whining and crying from Democrats, libertarians, and the rest of the eunuch caucus. Oh no, Donald Trump’s not obeying international law! Of course, “international law” is a fantasy for fools, children, in the globalist foreign policy establishment. There’s one thing that regulates international relations – raw power – and when the D-boys showed up in Caracas, they were enforcing its Rule 5.56mm. As pundit Varad Mehta aptly observed on X, all the self-appointed best and brightest commenters commenting on American foreign policy “should read the Melian dialogue sometime.”
TLDR: “International law” is whatever America does because we’re bigger and can kick your butt.
There were 10 great things about this attack on the Maduro regime, as I initially pointed out on X that morning. Let’s count them down, shall we?
10. America’s enemies are terrified by this display of American prowess. If dumping giant bombs down the holes made by the prior giant bombs at the Iranian nuclear facilities were not enough, the fact that our forces can come in and grab some scumbag potentate right out of his marital bed and then leave without a scratch must serve to concentrate their minds wonderfully. This caper has got to send a subtle message to America’s enemies: You can’t run, you can’t hide, this is our cell block, and you’re the pretty new fish.
9. Democrats went from siding with Somali fraudsters early in the week to communist narco terrorists who ignored democracy by the weekend. In their eternal quest to always stay on the 20 side of the 80/20 issues, the Democrats were outraged that we’ve arrested a country’s elected leader. Never mind that was their thing throughout the Biden administration, except the leader was ours, and he was being framed. Maduro, on the other hand, sends drugs and thugs to America that kill Americans. He also parties with the Chinese and the Russians, who I was told by reliable sources – those same Democrats – are the very worst people ever. The morning after we snatched him, it was hilarious to watch all these dummies with Ukrainian flags in their usernames crying that America had deposed Putin’s pal. But hey, in an election year, don’t let me get in the way of the Democrats standing firm with the foreign thug and against our glorious troops who have notched yet another victory over tyranny.
Recommended
8. Libertarians are upset. When these tiresome goobers are mad, you know you’re doing something right. Thomas Massie, who’s trying to jumpstart his personal narcissism engine as the Jeffrey Epstein onanism that fueled it fades, naturally jumped in, and he was very upset that we defeated one of our enemies. Apparently, the Constitution says you can’t, somewhere. He thinks Congress should have authorized this, ignoring the practicalities like, you know, it’s a secret mission. Regardless, it would be hard to declare war when the war, such as it was, was over before Massie even started running his fool mouth.
But in fact, Congress authorized it by not doing anything. We’ve been rubbing up against Maduro for a couple of months now. If Congress were against Trump finally deposing this creep, it could have passed a law to keep Donald Trump from triumphing over evil. But it didn’t want to, because the majority of Congress was perfectly happy to have Donald Trump flush this human floater. Congress is not somehow ceding its authority by not opposing something it agrees with, and it manifestly agrees with this.
7. It’s hilarious how all the pinkos started screaming about how this is a war for oil, and Trump was right up front going, “Oh yeah, we’re totally doing this in part because of the oil.” I’m not sure when history ended, and resources stopped having anything to do with wars, but the critics apparently think that happened. In fact, oil is key on many levels. Unleashing Venezuela’s oil production will screw the Iranians as well as the Russians, who we keep being told we should screw with. Both of those regimes run on oil revenue. Venezuela pumping big time is in our interest because it’s against theirs. Socialism, in its collectivist warmth, has destroyed Venezuela’s oil industry. But with it up back and running, that means more global supply and less money for our enemies. Oh, and they used to sell a lot of it to the Chinese. Now, we’ve got a hammer lock on that. So, Xi, go ahead and invade Taiwan, and we’ll cut off your gas. Also, getting their oil industry going will help us by paying back America for the property Venezuela’s leaders stole through nationalization.
6. We blew up Chávez’s mausoleum. Screw that guy. Of course, the libs were sputtering about desecrating his tacky tomb, but that’s what we call an “information operation.” It sends a message. And that message is that if we’re petty enough to killyou again after you’re dead, what do you think we’ll do to you when you’re alive? El Comandante Generalísimo el Jefe Grande Maduro is lucky that he landed on the USS Iwo Jima instead of getting his sorry booty Pinochet-pitched out the side door of a Chinook over the Caribbean.
5. Everybody who had doubts about Pete Hegseth must contend with the fact that they were stupid and wrong. He’s been incredible. Our recruiting is through the roof, Iran has no nukes, and Maduro is worried about picking up the soap. The American military is back. All the weirdos, deviants, and perverts are gone, and you can’t tell us that empowering trans majors to flounce around dressed like Charo helped our combat readiness. You know what helps combat readiness? Combat readiness. And this flawless operation proved it.
4. The video of cheering Venezuelans is wonderful. It’s nice to see people freed, but it’s nicer to see the American people freed from the millions of refugees who flooded our country because no one else would stand up to the communist dictator. And it’s especially nice that thousands of American lives will be saved because the drugs those communist scumbags sent north will no longer be sent north.
3. Trump has made the Monroe Doctrine great again. This is our hemisphere. Now, foreigners may think that’s arrogant or obnoxious, but if we cared about foreigners, we’d be Democrats and losers. The fact is that, for too long, we let Iranians, Russians, and the Chinese touch grass on our turf. No more. There’s a new sheriff in town, and his name is Donnie Trump.
2. The Cuban communists are next, and they are sweating like JB Pritzker when someone pulls out the Ozempic. If you’re an investor, go short on the commie ruling class because they’re running out of friends. Pretty soon, they’re going to be doing some Cuban dancing at the end of a rope from a light post. I look forward to the day my father-in-law goes back to reclaim the property those bastards stole from his family. We’ll have a Townhall VIP party; I’ll supply the cigars and the rum.
1. And, most importantly, it was great that the Army and the Delta Force pulled this off instead of the Navy and the SEALs. We soldiers have had to listen to the squids run their mouths for 15 years about how they iced Bin Laden. Yeah, that was cool, I guess. But not quite taking down a whole country in a night, cool. Now, it’s the decisive branch of American military power’s time to shine again! Go Army!
Order Kurt Schlichter’s BRAND NEW bestseller in the Kelly Turnbull People’s Republic conservative action series, Panama Red, and follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter.
Join the fight for America by enlisting in Townhall VIP right now. You get access to a bunch of great stuff, not the least of which is his extra Wednesday column, his twice- weekly Stream of Kurtiousness videos every Tuesday and Friday, and his Unredacted podcast every Monday! Plus, some stuff from Larry O’Connor – and more!
Editor’s Note: Do you enjoy Townhall’s conservative reporting that takes on the radical left and woke media? Support our work so that we can continue to bring you the truth.
Join Townhall VIP and use promo code FIGHT to receive 60% off your membership.
Join the conversation as a VIP Member