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OPINION

Conservatives Need to Man Up and Play by the New Rules

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post via AP, Pool

Good gosh, could the conservasissies be any conservasissier? That’s a rhetorical question because the answer is obvious. Yes. Yes, they can, and they do on a regular basis. Last week, we were treated to the glorious tableau of Texas cops of all the colors of the ethnic rainbow grabbing and manhandling scumbag Hamas-lovers off the lawn at the University of Texas. This should have been a time of celebration for us normal people. This should have been a time of joy. Instead, we got these conservative weenies upset that Greg Abbott was arresting people for exercising what they (wrongly) claim is their right to free speech.

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Guys, if you want to know why we lose, there you go. This is how we lose. 

Let’s put aside the fact that Greg Abbott wasn’t sending these cops in to arrest those scumbags simply because they are anti-Semitic, though they are totally anti-Semitic. It wasn’t about their free speech. They were trespassing, harassing Jews, and camping out on the lawn like a bunch of Scat Francisco hobos. That’s not free speech. That’s a bunch of commies being jerks.

But what if the governor was stopping them from saying things we don’t like? What if Greg Abbott was abusing the right to free speech on a college campus, something which has never ever happened before in the history of ever, at least not since last week when the commissars sent in the local SWAT team because somebody misgendered a dude dressed like Lola Falana? If violating the right to free speech on a college campus in 2024 was against the rules, well, that’s news to me. 

We have to ask ourselves – what are the rules? What are the rules that apply in this situation? Well, it’s not free speech. I know what rules would apply if the situation involved one of the favored groups being threatened by a bunch of geebos chanting about ethnic cleansing them. But if you’re Jewish, it’s open season – at least in blue cities and blue states under blue college administrators. And the threats are A-OK if the target is a Christian, particularly a straight one who wields a penis. If it’s white rural ragers being stupid, bring in a National Guard battalion. But if you’re a bunch of motley degenerates with daddy issues and rings through their noses simping to save murderous communists in some foreign cesspool from righteous retribution, oh no. Send in the counselors.

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Yeah, the barn door has kind of been left open on the whole “Hey, if we suppress their free speech on campus, they’ll suppress ours” formulation. Conservatives warning that if we are mean to them, they will be mean to us are hopeless. Let me draw your attention to the last 20 years of them suppressing our free speech on campus. The 2024 free speech rules are really simple. The commies get to do whatever they want, and it’s free speech. We attempt to exercise our free speech, and it’s a threat to Our Democracy. When a patriot like you exercises your rights, it’s violence, and your life gets ruined, and your job gets taken, and you get kicked out of school. Maybe you will even be prosecuted if you happen to be doing it in the People’s House because we normals are apparently no longer people anymore. For the commies, here’s a biscuit and a hug.

Well, unlike the Fredocons, folks like you and me don’t do two sets of rules. One set of rules, for everyone, applied good and hard. The new rules are in effect and may God have mercy on your souls.

Now, I am not saying that I like the new rules. I don’t – I think the new rules are bad. I’m just accepting that the rules have changed, stating what the new rules are, and strongly urging us to play by them. I want to be very clear, as I have been for nearly a decade,  because there are stupid people out there who can’t hear this often enough. I was against imposing the new rules. I argued against them. I warned people against these new rules time and time again. But you know what? I was overruled about the new rules. A lot of people, mostly leftists but some pseudo-conservatives, decided we would go with the new rules. Again, I told them it was a bad idea. I told them it would lead to outcomes that they would not be happy with, but they decided not to listen to me. No, they decided that they were smarter and wiser and blah blah blah blah blah and that suppressing the speech of bad people – like us – was a moral imperative.

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Well, they got their new rules. Now they get to enjoy them, really hard and free of lubrication.

The new rules boil down to one thing – if you’ve got power, exercise it to promote your interests over the interests of your enemy. That’s it. That’s the basic rule in 2024. Suppressing the speech of your opponents is just one facet of it. Use the power you have ruthlessly to get what you want. This rule was generally in effect in the past until America changed it. Check out the Thucydides classic “The Peloponnesian War” and read The Melian Dialogue. TLDR: The strong do as they will, and the weak endure what they must. This should come as a hilarious surprise to the spoiled dirtbag students hanging out on the lawn because you know damn well none of them have ever read “The Peloponnesian War” in their gender studies seminars. Welcome to the red states, pinkos.

By the way, it’s kind of amusing how actively stupid these punks are. I mean, they’re just dumb. They think Thucydides is either a bespoke energy drink or a new STD that’s going around. These colleges are supposed to be prestigious institutions of higher education, but besides being unattractive, these people are just plain idiots. But I digress.

There are several important reasons why we must turn the new rules back upon our enemies. First, they deserve it. They are schmucks. They are bad people, and we should do everything we legally and morally can to cause them misery and to ensure that they are disconnected from any opportunity to govern, rule, or exercise any kind of authority whatsoever. I want them disenfranchised. I want them broken. I want them crushed and begging for mercy. Why am I so vindictive? I mean, besides that it’s fun? Self-preservation. I know what they will do to me given the chance because not only have they told me what they would do to me given the chance, when given the chance they did try to do it to me. Remember how they wanted to impoverish or put us in jail because we wouldn’t wear their stupid face masks or take their shots? The Red Guards are their role models, the Khmer Rouge are their ideal. 

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There’s another good reason for ruthlessly inflicting the new rules upon them. They won’t ever learn otherwise. The one thing we cannot do is allow them to change the new rules and benefit from them while we unilaterally disarm and just accept it. There have to be painful consequences for their misdeeds, with an emphasis on the painful part. There was a time when conservatives actually believed in punishment. You know, someone violates another’s rights, and then we deprive him of his rights to both show him that he has misbehaved and to incentivize him not to misbehave in the future. Somehow, conservatives have lost the idea of punishment. The enemy is stripping us of our rights. It needs to suffer. Otherwise, there is zero chance the rules will ever change back.

But even if that doesn’t work to change back the rules, we need to viciously apply the new rules to them for a third reason. We can’t just roll over and sputter about our principles. If our leaders just sit there and take it without exacting vengeance, our people are going to leave. Human nature demands retribution. You do it to us, we’re going to do it back to you. That’s the essence of protecting your people. If you’re not willing to send the cops to clear these scumbags out of our campuses – and they are our campuses – then you’re not protecting your people. The people will find someone who will. So, protect our people like Greg Abbott did, or like Ron DeSantis will do if any of these human manure piles dare to try that crap in Florida.

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Look, the conservasissies had had their chance and failed. Like Mr. and Mrs. Beatnik Flanders, they tried doing nothing, and now they’re all out of ideas. Well, I have an idea. Pain. Our enemies made new rules, and now the new rules need to become a field expedient colonoscopy.

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