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OPINION

It Doesn’t Matter That Joe Biden Is a Corrupt, Doddering, Old Pervert

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Evan Vucci, File

 Do you think it matters that our alleged president has fallen myriad times and can’t get up? You do? You sap. 

Watching President Gumby trip all over mystery sandbags at the Air Force Academy just reinforces what we all already know. He’s a senile, desiccated, crusty weirdo with delusions of mental competence. And no one cares, at least no one with the power to put this broken nag out to pasture. The mass of normal people might care if they really understood just how far the decay has gotten. Fortunately, we have a fearless truth-telling class of journalists who are unwilling to allow off-narrative facts to prevent them from bravely speaking truth to power. And if you believe that, you need to watch out for those cunning sandbags because you’re mentally defective too.

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Now, we could spend some time talking about the massive hypocrisy at play. We could scream “Imagine if this bumbling fool was a Republican!” But we don’t have to imagine. We know. Donald Trump walked down a wet ramp and steadied himself and this was a five-alarm 25th Amendment emergency. But Grandpa Badfinger spills all over the place, whether on a bike or an airplane ladder or a flat surface, and it’s no big deal. It’s racist for you to even notice. Or maybe sexist, or transphobic. It’s something bad.

But let’s not get stuck on the whole hypocrisy thing. Sure, it’s hypocritical. No one cares, at least no one with power. We hardcores don’t care. We are based. We know the regime media’s entire purpose is to reinforce the narrative du jour of the ruling class. Today, it’s going to be that a president’s ability to perform basic functions is irrelevant. Tomorrow, with another Republican, it’ll be super-relevant once again only because it will be useful again. We shouldn’t bother pointing it out to each other. We shouldn’t bother highlighting the difference between how they treated Trump’s personal life and how they’ve treated Hunter’s stripper-baby’s granddaddy. Crying about hypocrisy has gotten boring, and to display shock over the double standards betrays a tiresome naïveté, as if we somehow believe that there’s some sort of rule out there that compels consistency, objectivity, and fairness. We know there’s none of that. Facts and truth are irrelevant to the situation. There is only power, which means we’ve got to get power and use it to crush the left. They’ll cry. They’ll complain. They’ll tell us it’s against our conservative principles to fight our enemies, and our proper response is to laugh at them. And to keep crushing them.

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To the extent pointing out hypocrisy is useful, it only is when it comes to normal people. You know, the kind of people who don’t sit on Twitter all day, or watch the news, or do pretty much anything except drink their Bud Light and enjoy corporate sportsball. Talking about hypocrisy sometimes works on them, and it’s adorable when it does. It’s cute, because they still believe. They have faith in our institutions. They have this childlike understanding of the world that assumes that there’s some sort of referee out there who’s going to apply neutral rules, and make it all better for us. They’re actually stunned when they see the regime media lie. They’re actually shocked when they see two standards applied, one to the damn communists and one to us patriots. It’s kind of refreshing to see people so innocent. And it’s kind of sad to see people so dumb.

It’s hard to accept that our country has changed fundamentally, as Obama promised it would, from a society where we had a pretty fair shot at the fair application of the rules to a place where the rules don’t exist at all. Chairman Mao, who the left would love to be if they weren’t invertebrate sissies who can’t do push-ups, and for whom a long march consists of walking down to and back from the end of the Chardonnay aisle of the Trader Joe’s, pointed out that power comes from the barrel of a gun. Of course, the only guns they have are ones wielded by our sons and daughters who, in another burst of delightful naïveté, joined our woke military in the belief that it’s still about protecting our country instead of manufacturing politically indoctrinated young people and fighting (and losing) endless DC wars. Also, they want it as a backstop to uppity citizens, but good luck. A woke army is a bad army, so they can’t really force anything upon us. They have to talk us into doing it to ourselves.

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And what they plan to talk us into doing to ourselves, again, is nominating a brain dead mollusk as the pseudo-president, a gibbering golem who will be a conduit for every commie dream these monsters can think up. Look at Feinstein. Look at Fetterman. Look deep into their empty eyes. They are husks, imaginary people. They don’t exist as human beings but solely as avatars of Marxist fantasies. And like them, no real human being named “Joe Biden” exists, and it’s doubtful he really ever did. He’s a political marketing concept coming to pseudo-life. His bodily functions continue to proceed, presumably into his ever-present set of Depends, as he staggers through his golden years, but he’s not running the country. He’s probably not even changing the channel to Matlock on the old Magnavox. He’s a puppet, and the left’s left hand is all the way up to him.

So, when Joe Biden trips, it really means nothing to us. We’re not learning anything new. We already know what he is, and what he isn’t. But for normal people? It might work to change their minds from not having any opinions to thinking “Oh, maybe this guy is too old to be president and maybe we ought to look at somebody who isn’t old and senile and I wonder if NCIS: Rancho Cucamonga is on gosh I love that show.” 

But the regime media is not gonna risk letting that happen. They turned Gerald Ford into a national joke for the very same thing, and they’ll gleefully ignore this staggering clinical imbecile. Some normals might look up from their chicken tenders long enough to notice, but it’s unclear if they’ll actually care. The pain hasn’t gotten bad enough yet. But don’t worry. The Democrats’’ combination of corruption, gross incompetence, and burning hatred of normal Americans will make it get worse, and eventually, the people will react. It’s just going to take a while. The normies are lulled into quiescence with Wonder Bread and circuses. Things are going to have to get darker before they get lighter. So, if you think the mere fact that this Oval Office occupant demonstrating his utter inability to perform as a president is going to make any difference in the short term, you’re the one who is tripping.

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Follow Kurt on Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull People's Republic series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce, as well as his non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America.

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