Heads of UPenn, MIT, and Harvard Endorse Calls for Jewish Genocide
Are We Shocked a Dem Rep Said This About Florida and Texas?
Maybe We Should Do What German Police Did to Hamas Supporters Last Month
Joe Biden Begs 'Extreme Republicans' for Ukraine Funding
Matt Gaetz Responds to Kevin McCarthy's Retirement With One Word
Kevin McCarthy Makes a Major Announcement About His Political Future
Norman Lear Dies at 101
Tapper Reacts to Biden's 'Stunning Admission' About Why He's Running
Democrat Congresswoman Doxxed Three Times for Condemning Hamas' Use of Rape as Weapon...
Stefanik Grills Harvard President Over Response to Antisemitism on Campus
If Elected, Trump Says He Won't Be a Dictator...But Named One Exception
Did Nikki Haley Just Torpedo Her Campaign?
Holiday Celebrations Are Being Cancelled. Here's How a Blue Governor and a Red...
Riley Gaines’ Fiery Exchange With Democrat Rep Who Claimed She’s ‘Transphobic’
John Kerry Must Think We're Stupid With This Comment About Dems' Obsession With...

Be Caring for the Libs’ Feelings When the Red Wave Hits

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster

The next few days will be very difficult for the progressives, pinkos, commies, and other Democrats around you as they watch most – or perhaps all, if it is a red tsunami – their dreams die at the ballot box. You should take their profound sadness into account when you deal with them, and do everything you can to make the process of dealing with their total humiliation as miserable as possible. 


It's not about healing. It’s about hurting. It’s righteous retribution for their myriad wrongs. And it’s fun to make bad people suffer. Mock them. Belittle them. Call them “election deniers.” Rub their smug, Botoxed faces in their failure. 

Point out, accurately, that their embarrassing rejection by America is personal, that they are malignant and ridiculous people who thought that the angry weather goddess had blessed them with the divine right to rule over the rest of us. But they were wrong, totally and completely wrong, and the misery they are experiencing is all their fault.

It is proper that you do this mercilessly. It’s for their own good. You see, in our soft, silly culture, we have forgotten the undeniable reality that the best teacher for people too dumb to learn from others’ experiences is pain. They did not learn from history that if you are incompetent, corrupt, yet still arrogant, the people will toss your sorry butts out of power. And pain is what they are likely to feel as the red wave drowns what remains of the Biden Administration’s fantasy of FDR II: Dementia Boogaloo. You owe it to them to amplify their agony. It’s for their own good. You’re helping them. But even if that was not true, it’s fun to mock them. And that’s reason enough.

Let’s review the things they hold most dear, and how we are going to use our power to destroy them.

There’s abortion. Oh wow, did they ever get upset at the Supreme Court for making it slightly less convenient in some states to kill your baby? Well, it’s time for a hot truth injection. Most people aren’t gung-ho about the procedure anyway – even most pro-choice people are a bit queasy about it – and this grotesque insanity of thinking Americans will en masse buy into the idea that it’s A-OK to cap a kid on B-Day minus one is just delusional. Well, say goodbye to a save from Congress, since all Congress belongs to us.


And speaking of delusions, look for Congress to refuse to fund the sick mutilation of disturbed people. Our not-at-all-senile President – the last remaining flimsy line defense against a resurgent GOP – will have to either sign off on it or veto some must-pass bill that contains the mutilation ban. We eagerly await the Oval Office Sniffer shutting down the government to preserve the ability of butchers to cut the healthy penises and breasts off of children to conform them to the Chardonnay and daddy issues-soaked delusions of Democrat wine moms. That will be an incredible look!

And let’s not forget about how endangered Our Democracy is by people voting for the candidates they prefer – which are Republicans. The American people hate democracy or something – all I know is that I am always deeply moved by some 150-pound blue check with a Ukrainian flag in his bio who has to ask whether the Navy is the one with the ships telling me that I’m insufficiently patriotic because I refuse to obey the Official Approved Narrative™. 

Watch as Kevin McCarthy – if he wants to keep his new job, and he wants to keep his new job – boots Toots Swalwell and Adam Schiff off the Intel Committee and undertakes other forms of payback. It’s especially amusing when you remind libs that they enacted the new rules, and now those new rules are their suppository. 

Oh, there shall be oversight and the concurrent wailing and gnashing of teeth. Remind your mourning lib friends that if the Republicans are smart – admittedly a risky wager – then they will go on the road with their hearings, bringing the truth out to that faraway place called “America.” And, incidentally, establishing a venue for any perjury or contempt actions outside of the Democrat jury pool in DC.


Now, be sure to chide your sobbing Dem victims about how America hates CRT, COVID fascism, trans insanity, teachers unions, defunding cops, open borders, and all the rest, all while rejecting “reproductive health care,” “gender-affirming health care” and “chemical healthcare” in the form of the tons of fentanyl the Democrats have allowed over the border to poison our people. Emphasize the rise of new superstars, like Kari Lake, Tudor Dixon, and Blake Masters who we will see again, win or lose. Ask them who is on their bench – two-time Georgia governor Stacy Abrams?


But the real coup de grace is to twist the machete regarding Latinx Americans’ large-scale abandonment of the Democrat Party in response to the Democrats’ embrace of the creepy and weird fetishes of the bored, Adderall-addled blue suburban cat ladies who set the party’s agenda. The Democrats were all in on Hispanic Americans being a permanent subservient serf class obeying at election time in exchange for a few scraps. None of them married a Latin woman. The biggest story of this cycle is how Hispanic Americans began in earnest what will be a growing migration to the party sharing their flag, faith, and family beliefs. Look for the Democrats to decide this is proof that Hispanics are white supremacists. Also, it should make for some awkward moments in blue households where the lib patrons try to conceal their resentment of their housekeepers, nannies, and gardeners, who are the only Hispanic people these frauds know. Take care to grind the Dems around you for this kind of hypocrisy and cringe racism. It makes them unhappy.


Oh, and as you mock them for losing, make sure to remind them that President Boneyank and Veep Kackles are gearing up to run again, so that means in 2024 the Republican is almost certain to take over. And 2024 is a bad Senate year for Democrats – eleven of them have to run in Trump states. Gosh, that could mean a filibuster-proof majority for the GOP. And when that happens, we’re going to just laugh and laugh and laugh.

Conservatives Must Fight Back Against the Radical Left. Join Townhall VIP, Support Our Reporting, And Check Out Last Week's Stream of Kurtiousness, The Democrats Are Screwing Themselves Over, And I Don't Understand Why, and my podcast, Unredacted.

Get Inferno, the seventh book in the Kelly Turnbull series of conservative action novels set in America after a notional national divorce! Catch up with all my action-packed novels, including People's RepublicIndian CountryWildfireCollapseCrisis, and The Split, as well as the non-fiction book We’ll Be Back: The Fall and Rise of America. Plus, keep up the fight by joining Townhall VIP, including an extra Wednesday column, my weekly Stream of Kurtiousness video, and the Unredacted podcast!

Join the conversation as a VIP Member


Trending on Townhall Videos