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OPINION

There Are A Lot of Brandons

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Townhall.com.
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AP Photo/Susan Walsh

Let’s go, Brandon, and all you establishment jerks are Brandon.

The beauty of “Let’s Go, Brandon” is how it not only captures the utter contempt that America has for our alleged president, who is currently polling about as well as Michael Moore would be among Golden Corral managers, but how it captures what is either unbelievable cluelessness among the media, or unbelievable mendacity. Probably some of both. 

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NASCAR driver Brandon Brown, who had more successfully driven in circles than the other guys he was driving in circles with in whatever the Xfinity Series at Talladega Superspeedway in Alabama is, was being interviewed by NBC Sports reporter Kelli Stavast. Now, NBC is the Jerry Nadler’s trousers of media propaganda, perhaps the most full of it of all networks even in a universe that, for some reason, includes CNN. The crowd in the background begins a chant. It’s a chant that is sweeping the nation, heard at college football games, rallies, and wherever patriots are gathered.

It’s not “Let’s go, Brandon.” “Brandon” is actually “Biden,” and as for the other part – how to put this in on family website? – it’s more coming than going.

Everyone hates Joe Biden, and this spontaneous chant is a symptom of the disease infecting his poll numbers. Move over mere COVID – Biden’s numbers have leprosy with some scabies and chlamydia mixed in. And there’s no cure.

America just can’t stand the guy. Even people who don’t despise the guy are pretty turned off. Just look at his sparsely-attended and increasingly infrequent events. There is always like just 12 people there – a few aging pinkos, some illegal aliens fresh from hassling a Democrat heretic in the john, and a bunch of divorced wine women wearing pro-abortion shirts to protect their right to a procedure that will never be an issue for them. And they are all wearing masks outside. You could get a better turnout in a random high school parking lot offering discount drive-thru colonoscopies.

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I hope I didn’t just give the Lincoln Project any ideas.

But we all understand that the human asterisk is not in charge. Probably not even of his wardrobe. Dr. Jill, who is a real doctor according to sources, probably has to make sure his socks match and argue him out of wearing his favorite cowboy jammies into the Oval Office.

For these reasons, it’s clear that contempt contained in the “Let’s go, Brandon” chant is not directed solely at our Commander-in-Crusty. People feel kind of sorry for him, having so manifestly deteriorated from being a massively malignant clown to begin with. They put aside the fact that he’s a narcissistic plagiarist, a gaffe-prone racist jerk and inveterate liar whose corruption is only outdone by his gropey perversity. He is and was a bad man, but now he’s obviously a mere husk of a man, albeit one filled with pinko nonsense pumped to him by his wranglers.

Which is why the cry de coeur that is “Let’s go, Brandon” is really dedicated to the whole garbage establishment that foisted this stumbling nitwit upon us in an effort to claw back the power we had given to Donald J. Trump and ensure that we peasants never again get a say in our own governance.

Biden is Brandon, but he’s not the only Brandon. If we had a dollar for every Brandon, we wouldn’t need to raise the debt limit.

Kamala Harris is Brandon. Her grating insincerity and transparent ambition, plus that mutant step-non-binary spawn that she’s convinced the fashion world to pretend is a model instead of a cautionary example, make America a worse place. The only good thing about her performance as veep is that the border czarina is doing nothing regarding the border, which probably keeps things from getting – if it’s possible – even worse.

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Merrick Garland is Brandon. All hail Mitch McConnell for not letting America’s Stasi chief anywhere near the Supreme Court (though I hope he learned a lesson having helped confirm him as Witchfinder, I mean Attorney, General). His threat to parents challenging school boards is so on-brand for our elite that the shock it generated was a hilarious surprise – who did not see this coming? This creature is one of the zillions of establishment clowns babbling about the conservative threat to democracy, which turns our to be conservatives practicing democracy.

Ibram X. Kendi and his fellow race-hustling schmucks are Brandon. I’m all for making a buck, but these monsters are trying to destroy our country and idiot libs hand them bags of dough to do it. Leave it to morally illiterates progs, who have so much to feel guilty about from eugenics to hobo infestations in our cities, to choose to feel worst about how their great-great-grandpa came from Belgium.

Chuck Schumer and his painfully dumb political S&M partner AOC, oh, they are so Brandon.

Mark Milley is Brandon. How many of our troops died so he could enjoy his power, prestige, and position? At least 13 by my count. But surely more.

We are surrounded by Brandons.

The people hassling Dave Chappelle are Brandon.

The ingrates kneeling at football games are Brandon.

The tubby illegal aliens pestering people on the can are Brandon.

Brian Stelter is Brandon, and also a potato.

Let’s go, Brandons…every single one of you.

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