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The Manchin-Sinema Game

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AP Photo/Jose Luis Magana

Pity Chuck Schumer, with AOC sniffing around for the scent of primary vulnerability while the Murder Turtle across the aisle is tenting his fingers, whispering “Excellent,” as the majority leader publicly nadlers himself. He’s got Nancy Pelosi jumping into the race for Most Senile Senior in the Dem leadership, alleged moderates terrified of 2022, the bro-betrothing weirdos of the progressive left, and a desiccated old freak in the White House who intervened and only made things worse. But Chucky’s real problem is the Wonder Twins, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema, who are driving him nuts with their stubborn refusal to commit ritual suicide to make the NY-SF axis happy.

And it’s only going to get worse. Pass the popcorn and cabernet, because this is gonna be fun.

For these two, this New Deal is No Deal, at least not as currently constituted. They are doing yeoman’s work taking the heat for a bunch of other senators who likewise have no desire to walk Pelosi’s plank next year by voting for the zillion-dollar printing press green-light that is the reconciliation infrastructure bill. Of course, this atrocity is only about infrastructure in the loose sense that every single thing in the Dems’ letter to Santa is “infrastructure.” Free money to deadbeats is infrastructure. Open borders is infrastructure. So, I guess, the middle fingers of Sinema and Manchin are infrastructure too.

Now that’s some infrastructure we can get behind.

Adding to the hilarity was Bernie Sanders, the cute n’ loveable curmudgeon who embraces an ideology that butchered 100 million people in the last century, and his attempt at socialist math. He railed on Twitter that those two senators should not be able to hold up what 48 senators want. You know, I did go to a California public school so my knowledge of math and civics is questionable, but doesn’t that mean that there are 52 senators against and only 48 for? I’ve been hearing a lot from the Dems about MUH DEMOCRACY lately, but I am pretty sure 48 does not beat 52. Oh well, forget it. Counting is probably a construct of the hegemonic paradigm imposed by white supremacy, patriarchy, and…I dunno…transphobia. 

Still, for now, they are holding out. They have no desire to lose their elections by passing this inflation-bait fiasco, at least not at the $3.5 trillion number the commie girls in the House decreed was the compromise minimum. West Virginia, America’s sanest state, was something like Trump +39 last November, so runaway patriotic and pro-American the Dems didn’t even bother trying to cheat there. Yeah, sure, Manchin is looking to please Schumer.

Same with Sinema. Arizona, where Crusty “won” by a squeaker (though there was not a squeak in the mainstream media about how the audit showed iffy ballots far exceeding the alleged margin), is not a blue state. It’s really not even a purple state. And Sinema does not want to be kicked to the curb like henpecked Schumer concubine Mark Kelly is going to be next year. With her bizarre fashions, frisky bisexuality, and DC cuteness, she is at least entertaining instead of being a tiresome, pinch-faced scold like the Frosty Wine Women of Wokeness who make up most of her colleagues. Arizona loves its mavericks. Sinema is a maverick while submissive Mark Kelly is doing dishes in an apron while the men go outside to fire up a stogie.

They will vote for something, maybe. But it will be their dollar number and it will be a lot less than what the commie caucus demanded. Schumer will be humiliated and try to play it off as a victory. The media will swoon. And Manchin and Sinema will gleefully let their states know that they got the Pelosi to lick their feet.

Sinema will go on and probably hold her seat as long as she wants. The Dems can’t touch her, despite the howling of the blue checks, because she’s Number 50.

But Manchin may be playing another game. He’s a Democrat in a state where Democrats are as beloved as sewer rats. He’s got a problem in 2024 no matter what he does. He barely made it last time. What is his game?

He’s got to switch parties.

That’s his only way out. Every Republican in WV knows the GOP nomination means the seat in three years. He’ll get a real challenge, and even if he goes full Rorke’s Drift on the reconciliation bill, homeboy is cooked Wonder Bread smeared with Indian gal-free Land O’Lakes butter.

He has got to be a Republican to have a chance of surviving. But the Dems he abandons will be outraged, and a lot of Republicans won’t trust him. He’s got to be driven out of the Dems, to depart more in sorrow than in anger. And maybe his relentless provocation of the dumb libs is the give him the opportunity to do just that.

Imagine him, face drawn and sad, stepping up to the mic and intoning:

“It has become clear that the Democrat Party no longer wants me. So I will continue to represent the values and people of West Virginia as a Republican, or maybe as an independent caucusing with the Republicans – it depends on the polling.”

And behind him on the podium, Mitch McConnell is smiling.

Come on over, Joe.

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